Death Is Imminent, But Often Too Soon.

Sorry for the depressing subject today, but I am in a depressing mood. You see, a friend of mine has died recently. The cause of death is yet to be determined; the authorities think the most likely cause is suicide. But I would never have thought this person would do that. Though you can never tell. So, the subject for today is death, something no one can escape.
It is everywhere, where there is life there is death. No ifs, ands, or buts about it. It effects everyone, mostly those still living. It causes pain in our souls. A small part of me is ripped out every time I hear about the death of a friend or relative. Though at my young age there have been few, I know there will be many more under my belt as I grow older. Unfortunately.
The death of young children is the saddest of all. Parents should never have to bury their children; the natural way of things is for children to bury their parents. When young people die it is heart breaking, they had a whole life ahead of them and it was snatched away. Burnt out like a candle.
Death has become more apparent in my life recently. It seems as though people are dropping down around me. How ever morbid that may sound. It is depressing. I think when I was young most of it went over my head but now I can't avoid it. I don't know how someone survives through it sometimes. What do you do if your husband, wife, child, parent, or best friend dies? How do you ever move on? I guess the pain eventually subsides but how long will that take? How long does it take to let go?
Much Love to all, alive and dead,
~ Jenna

I Haven't Posted In Nearly A Week?!?!?

Oh my gosh!!! I just noticed I haven't posted in like five or six days!!! I can't believe it! Time goes by so fast when you cramping before vacation. Yes, that's right I'm nearly out for school vacation. Only one more class and I'm free!!! For like three to four weeks actually. It's pretty awesome.
Well, to the very small number of people who actually read this, I'm sorry for not posting in a long time. I haven't had any time at all. Between school, life, homework and baking cookies I have no time for dear old blog. (Even though it’s new) It must have seemed like I gave up on it or something. I don't think I'll be able to write everyday anymore though. Probably every other or less. Who knows, we'll play it by ear now.
So, what should I talk about today? I must say thank you to whoever commented on one of my last posts. They said that they liked my blog or something like that. It filled me with happiness. Thank you. I love to know that people are reading this. I didn't think anyone was so I was happy. Thank you.
Well, now that I've gone all mushy on you I have to go. I'll be back soon hopefully. I'm on vacation now so who knows how much time I have. Happy Holidays everyone, though I will probably say that later as well.
Always, Always, Always,
Much Love,
~ Jenna

My Diary / Journal / Place to Store my Inner Most Thoughts

I have a diary... I know, classic stereotype teenage girl. But really, not many of my friends have diaries. I don't really now what to call mine, sometimes I call in my diary, sometimes my journal, sometimes my little purple book, or even my best friend. You can tell a diary anything, that's what I like about it. Though it does take awhile to trust it, just as it does with all friends. You just need a good place to hide it, somewhere where nobody would look. My place is so obvious that nobody would look there. Not that anyone would be able to read my hand writing if they did find it.
When I first started writing in it I wrote everything in code. Letters for first names, sometimes even numbers. It's really funny to look back upon. But after a few months I began to trust it and I wrote those things I wouldn't write before. Now, I write anything and everything. Literally if someone found my diary they would know my life story and inner most thoughts and desires. That sounds so sketchy. It isn't really that sketchy. Haha. Well, don't go looking for my diary now that I've told you this.
Much Love,
~ Jenna

No Topic?

I could not for the life of me think of a topic to write about today. Many things crossed my mind, most were not good enough though. I haven't even been writing for a month and I have already have nothing to write about. Ahh! I need ideas! I need drive! I need meaning in my life! Well, I have a bit of meaning, just nothing much. Everyone out there has at least one reason why you keep on living. You may have so many that you don't realize that they are what keep you alive, but if you lost it all, to you death may seem like the only option. This is such a morbid topic but it's the only one I've got right now so let's run with it. The major thing in my life that keeps me alive is the possibility of becoming a movie director in my life time. That is the ultimate thing for me right now; I need it to keep me going. Yes, there are others things, my family, friends, writing, et cetera. But, that is the biggest hope in my life.
So... done with that topic on to a new one? Eh, maybe... I'm sort of bored at the moment, my teacher never showed up to class so I'm hanging around in the comp lab updating this blog. I know this says that I posted it on the 5th but it is actually the 7th, I just never finished the post... Hmm.... I'm so behind on this thing. Well, whatever, good bye!
Much Love,
~ Jenna

My Homework Overload!

Homework... one of the bad things that comes with life. An inescapable evil. Why do they throw work upon us after we have already spent a long day working and listening and trying to stay awake? (Which is very tiring, you know.) I really don't know why, maybe they want to torture us, maybe they want to keep us out of trouble, maybe (as they say) they want us to learn from repetition. Who knows?
The last few days there hasn’t been a night when I went to bed before 12:00, and I usually have a goal of about 10:30. It sucks thoroughly. (Wooh! My first semi-swear word of the blog! I think...) I have been writing essays, doing math problems, researching who knows what. It is not a great amount of fun, not at all. Though, the staying up late part is partly my fault. When I am on the computer I can't help but procrastinate, as I am doing now. It is part of my nature to want to check my e-mail, my Facebook, my role-plays, and now update my blog. It is quite fun, but rather annoying when you are up at 1:00 in the morning being angry at yourself for spending an hour trying to beat at least one game of solitaire.
I know some of you must feel my pain. The pain of the procrastinator. You wait to do your homework on Sundays. During a free period you go on the computer or talk to friends rather then starting to plow through your mountain of homework. It's completely normal, do not fret. It sucks to be this way at times, but it is okay. We will just be very tired but we will live. Well, have to get to my homework now...
Much Love,
~ Jenna

You Still Don't Know My Name...

Actually the title of this is a quote from a song of mine that inspired another song. It randomly came to my head when I was raving about how this person didn't know my name and they should by now, (this was at the end of last year) I didn't particularly like this person in the first place but this only made it worse. So, when the lyric came to my head it sounded a bit like a love song, which sickened me, so I wrote another song, one of which I might have lyrics up somewhere for the public eye, (maybe on Facebook) which was called "This May Song like a Love Song"... but it's actually not that sort of thing.
BUT, this is not the topic of this blog post or at least not the intended topic. What I really meant by this was to discuss how annoying it is when people don't know your name and it's really obvious and yet they still don't ask you politely what it is. I ranted about this awhile back on some other website so to my close friends who may have read both some of this is old news, but not all.
The most annoying thing is when a teacher doesn't know your name. I don't think he is ever going to read this or connect it to me if he does so what the heck, my chorus teacher doesn't know my name. I swear, he doesn't. He wrote my comments for the first quarter and they were all about the chorus as a whole and then at the end he wrote a sentence on how I'm great for participating in the chorus. It just completely irks me because he knows my face, I think, but he doesn't seem to be able to connect my name to it. And he won't even ask me what it is since he can't remember! Ahh!!!
Well, that's all I feel like saying about him... except that that annoys me. Oh, wait! I already mentioned that. Haha... Whatever, I'll fix it somehow...
Much Love,
~ Jenna

SNOW!!!

The first real snow of the season! How exciting!!! I absolutely love snow! Some people hate is because it makes driving hard and it is cold. But I love it, as I already stated. Yeah so today was pretty great because of the snow. Everyone was throwing snowballs though, which can be fun at times but not when you are caught between a whole bunch of people you are not friends with throwing snow balls over you head. That is rather uncomfortable and annoying, for you are bound to get hit.
Winter and snow have their ups and downs, pros and cons. Well the good things are all the holidays during the winter, (Christmas, New Years, Valentines, et cetera) also that it is sooo pretty when the snow first falls, spring is just around the corner as well. This means looking forward to all the wonderful spring activities and holidays. For me the winter also means the musical and no real physical activity. (Wooh!) I also strangely like walking in the cold... odd I know.
Well, bad things. First and foremost, snow is dangerous. You can hit people with ice by accident; you can slip down the slippery stairs, or even on the ground where there is black ice. Cars can slip too, causing accidents. It takes a lot longer to slow down in a car when it is slippery out. And well, that's all I can think of. Sometimes the cold is bothersome but not usually. So pretty much there are more pros then cons. As you can tell, I really love the winter. (Now! On to homework and school!)
Good bye!
Much Love,
~ Jenna

Childhood Favorites

I recently uploaded one of my favorite childhood movies onto my ipod. I have been annoying my friends by watching it and giving them commentary. It is rather fun. Oh, the movie is "The Last Unicorn" You may have read the book by Peter S. Beagle. Sooooo good! Beagle is pretty much amazing! He is hilarious.
Have you ever gone back to your favorite movies from when you were young and watched them over again? I actually spent my first real all-nighter (Up more than 36 hours straight!) watching Disney movies with my friends. It's really fun because sometimes you remember the movies differently then what they really are like. Or you forget the best scenes. You should try it if you haven't already.
I have always had a liking for what I call "Wanna be Disney" movies. Or movies that everyone thinks are Disney but actually aren't. Such as "Anastasia" or "Thumbelina." Very good movies. Often times better than most Disney ones. They are usually confused due to the awesome music. To name some songs, "Once Upon a December" "Now that I'm a Woman" and "Let Me Be Your Wings" You should definitely listen to them, it's worth it.
Much Love,
~ Jenna
P.S. Sorry for the crappy topic, I'm having an off "writing" day. In general I was fine, but my creative mind is in muddles. Can't think straight! Don't worry though, friends of mine who went with me through my last writers block. This seems fixable, semi quickly and without much pain.

Change is Imminent.

This is quite early compared to my normal posts. Want to know why? Well I had my first two classes canceled! Wooh! I slept in for the first one but I didn't know about the second. So now I'm here. You're jealous, I know. Hahaha.
Mmk, now to the point. I have noticed recently that I have changed, almost drastically, from the person I was in Middle School. Though I do retain a lot of what I was, I am almost a completely different person. Well, not on the inside really, I have always been like this but I have never let it show until recently.
I should explain what "this" is, shouldn’t I? In Middle School, I rarely talked to anyone who wasn't in my immediate circle of friends. And I didn't make an effort to expand this circle. I was quiet, did my work in class, et cetera. In seventh grade my teachers actually asked my mom if I had any friends. Not a good sign. So, once I go here, to High School, to Brooks, I began to... adapt? In a way. Starting the second half of freshman year I began to talk to more people and put myself out there. This summer I worked on it a lot too. Now this year, I have done a lot of things I wouldn't have done in Middle School. I started my Film Club, I joined a Model UN, Gospel Choir, I just plain be myself... in a way. And it's wonderful.
It's really something everyone should work on. I still am actually. I still have periods of time in which I retreat to my old shell and don't talk to new people, or even people I know who I'm not great friends with. It makes me seem a bit bipolar in a way I guess. But when I do act myself it is very rewarding, however cliché that may sound.
Well, School meeting is soon. Got to go!
Much Love,
~ Jenna

So... How's Life?

"So... How's Life?" a quote that if you are my friend you have probably heard numerous times. It is pretty much the ultimate awkward moment killer. Though, in a way it makes it more awkward. If there is a silence or lull in conversation, or maybe someone said something odd and you want to break the tension, use this never fail technique. With the prolonged "So...." said more like, "Soooooo..." Well, that looks like it's said like the word sue... you know it's said like the word sew. So, (haha) as I was saying the prolonged "so" points out that fact that it is awkward and makes it known to everyone that you agree with them in the awkwardness. (It works much better than just saying "Awkward!" because if everyone else doesn't think it is awkward it doesn't make it awkward and it makes you less embarrassed.) Then after the "so" you add the "How's life?" making it a question. You can answer that in a one word answer though, such as, "good" or "fine." You can then later ask why life is "good" or "fine." And if someone says their day is not so good or fine you can discuss why. And if none of that works, there is usually a bit of laughter over the pointing out of the awkwardness which later leads to conversation and potential for this quote to become an inside joke. And if none of that works you can just nod your head and say "That's good" to their answer (if they do answer) and maintain the awkwardness... (Yeah it has a few flaws but it makes up for it!) It's very useful as you can see. I use it many situations now, even non-awkward ones. I hope you will too!
Much Love,
~ Jenna
P.S. Yes, I know that was just informative. I didn't feel like talking about myself today. I feel like I've been coming across conceited. (Which I am not! I dislike conceitedness... if that's a word... I think it is since my spell check isn’t yelling at me for it...) I'm going to post this link on Facebook eventually; I just need to work up the courage to actually put myself out there. I have no readers currently so that might be nice... Well, G'night!

For the Second Time.

Here I am again! My second post, this is exciting! Wooh! I know you must be just as excited as I am. (Yeah right) Hahahahahahahaha. So, topic of today’s ramble... my ever confusing family situation. (Will be shorter than last time but harder to understand)
So... let's get started then. My parents got married, like many parents do, and they had three children together. My older brother Joey (currently 17), then me, then my younger brother Danny (currently 12). A year after Dan was born my parents got divorced. Both of them were single for about three years. Then my Mom married my step-dad Kevin and my Dad married my step-mom Sandy. My Mom and step-dad had two children. My brother Sean (currently 6) and my sister Kayleigh (currently 5). My Dad and step-mom had two children as well. My sister Katie (currently 5) and my brother Kyle (currently 3). So, Sean Katie, Kayleigh and Kyle are all technically my half-siblings, though I do not call them that. Make any sense? That was actually one of my better explanations. You should be proud of me!
Since that took a shorter time then I thought I might as well explain to you the point of this blog. Pretty much a place to store my thoughts. I also like the idea that people can read it if they want to. I guess I appear to be a bit of an odd person to others, and well, I am a bit of an odd person. So... this is sort of to give people a small insight into my mind, if they care enough to care. I also want to eventually write a book or two and writing regularly will help improve my writing skills. (Hopefully) That, in essence, is why I have started all this. Wonderful story, huh?
Done for today I guess. Hope that was very informative. Will hopefully post again soon!
See you later! Have a nice day!
Much Love,
~ Jenna
P.S. I feel like asking a question again... hmm... let's go with the ultimate awkward moment killer. Tomorrow I might explain why it is the ultimate awkward moment killer.
How's Life?

So it has begun...

Here it is! The blog I have been meaning to start for awhile now. Though that first sentence sounds like I have been telling many people and it is anticipated, even slightly. But that's not true. I haven't told nearly anyone and who in the world would want to read my rambling so it couldn't be anticipated. I'm going to stop putting myself down now, (one of my goals in... life) and tell you a bit about myself. Though I doubt anyone will read this to find out. (Stop it! You're doing it again!) ... Don't mind my inner voice coming out in parenthesis...
So, I'm Jenna. But you probably know this if you are reading this. Though if you do not that either means my blog is getting popular (which is unlikely) or you are a sketch. Either or, you choose the more likely. As I said, I'm Jenna. Currently I'm a sophomore in high school, 16 years old. I'm tall-ish, 5'7"-5'8"...ish, I'm not telling you how much I weigh. (Don't ask, it's rude!) I don't want to sound conceited but there may be people out for blood if I tell you, and others who wonder if I'm telling the truth, because (Even though I am skinny-ish) I look like I weigh more than I really do... unfortunately. (Most want it the other way around... and I told myself already I wouldn’t do this!) I have dark brown hair, with random scattered natural red and blonde highlights, that is now a little shorter than shoulder length, as of last Monday. (That's the one more than a week ago, a week from yesterday) I have blue eyes, but they change a lot so sometimes they have a brownish tint and/or some streaks or a greenish tint and/or some streaks ... or a grayish tint and/or some streaks... or a combination of colors... they are odd like that. So... that's a description of me... anything I missed? (That whole thing makes me sound very self centered or something, I am not. I just was bored and felt like describing myself, you should try it sometime)
Well, I don't know about you but I'm done for today... I'll write again soon… hopefully. Hope you enjoyed this tid-bit of my soul. Next time I might try and explain my family, or why I wanted to start a blog in the first place. You never know. My mind often takes me to odd places so it could be any topic really. Hope you enjoyed, even in the littlest bit. It will get better once I start to rant. Those who know me might have read some of my Facebook rants by now. (Probably not though.) They are interesting to say the least…
See you later! Good Night! Toodleloo!
Much Love,
~ Jenna
P.S. Wow! This was long for a blog post... sorry about that.
P.P.S. Feel free to comment. They will be loved greatly.
P.P.P.S Is it P.P.S or P.S.S.? Hmm... Maybe you can tell me in your comment... and why!