Epic Fail.

I failed last night. I failed in front of young children and some peers. Yes, that's right. My audition went horrible. I have been looking forward to this for quite some time. And now that it actually happened, I failed. It sucks. And the worst part is... they rejected me. I get nervous when I sing in front of people who are judging me so I can't act. So they just saw me sing really bad. It was... fabulous...
The thing is, I also stuck out like a complete social misfit and theater geek. It takes some serious skill to stick out as a theater geek at auditions for a musical. I found it quite humorous actually. It was intense. Yeah...
Well anyway, some day they are going to regret not choosing me. I'll be a famous Tony award winning playwright and/or actress. And I will be fabulous and I will say to everyone who ever doubted my abilities, "Screw you!" Yeah! That's right!
Funny how something that should make me self-conscious and/or feel bad about myself makes me want to fight more. Hehehe. Good quality if it lasts...
Much Love,
~ Jenna

Joy! Unspeakable Joy!

I just arrived home from after enjoying a fantastic Gospel Choir concert. (That sentence has horrible flow...) It was so much fun! It's so great to show to the people who come, the work we put into those songs all year long. It reminds me, once again, how much I missed it while in India. I even got up and spoke about that during the concert. Did you know the first gospel choir practice this year was on my birthday? And I was in India?!? It sucks. I would say it sucked balls but I don't talk with such harsh language. Hahaha.
Gospel Choir just means so much to me. I look forward to every Tuesday. The day-student dinners, the pray circles, and the singing. It's like another family. I love everyone in it. It really changed my view on the world and of my school. Now I wouldn't think of skipping it for the world... except when I have to. Like this Tuesday... But that's another story, for this Tuesday I guess! Now you can look forward to learning about the mysterious thing I'm doing next Tuesday! Ooooo! The anticipation is killing you, isn't it? Well, I'll let it do that... Adios!
Much Love,
~ Jenna

Hey Look! A Can of Soup!

Do you know what pisses me off? (Well you probably know a lot about what pisses me off if you actually read this blog.) Labels. They piss me off to no end. They piss me off to the end of no end. But sadly, I follow along with them. I am guilty of calling someone a nerd, or a jock, or whatever else you can think of. But only because it is ingrained in our minds. It's like we're made to label things. Like different flavors of soup on the store shelves of life...
Not only are there the stereotypes of high school labels. But there are the ones people give themselves. "I'm a stay-at-home mom." "I'm straight edge." "I'm the handy-man of the house." "I'm bisexual." "I'm such a middle child." It just irks me to no end! These labels above may be true for some people. But do you have to label yourself as that? The stay-at-home mom could simply just refer to herself as a mom, and nothing more. Who cares that she stays at home!?! Only she needs to know that. I read something the other day about "LGBTQ's" calling themselves "Label Free." And that for some reason or another, made my day. I myself am straight, but I think even straight people can call themselves label free. Who needs a label?!? It gets ridiculous in our culture sometimes.
Okay. I'm done ranting about labels... For now. Hope you enjoyed that or learned something from it. Or most possibly were amused by it. Have a fantabulous day!
Much Love,
~ Jenna

That's it! I'm Bringing A Cat!

So. It's decided. I'm bringing a cat to prom. A nice little kitty that I find somewhere, check for lice and ticks, then put in a little cat suit/ tux and bring to prom. Awesome. Fabulous. I hope you know I'm kidding...
Anyway, I have decided that there is no shame in going by myself. Not that I thought there was before. But. I am going to assert myself as the happy independent single woman that I am by going all by my lonesome and looking H-O-T. (Not that I don't always look hot, I'll just continue looking hot. And I'll spell it instead.)
So how's that for you? Put that in your pipe and smoke it! Not that you cared... It's just on my mind and I'm writing what is on my mind. I was just looking at prom dresses, that's why. And do you know what is happy? I can get an awkwardly colored one, or maybe even a printed one, because I don't have to match with anyone. Woot!
Eh... I have practice in twelve minutes. And I have to change and then walk up there. Fun. So... I'm going to leave you thinking of my sexy woman independence and my printed prom dress and possibly my cat date. Haha. I feel like I'll be back today... So... adios for now.
Much Love,
~ Jenna

The Rest Of Our Restless Lives...

I have a new play list of artists whom I have recently discovered and love. There is a concert with three of them all at once on May 6th or something... It's only ten dollars! The thing is, I have no one to go with. My mother says I need to find someone to drive me. And none of my friends like the genre of music I do. It's rather upsetting...
Speaking of upsetting... That's what life is right now. There are just a million things on top of each other pressing on my mental stability. And recently a few more things have been thrown on, threatening the balance of the precarious mountain of problems. And soon it's going to fall down and crash to the ground, spilling cookie crumbs all over the rug. And then little children are going to run around on the rug, pushing the crunchy chocolaty crumbs into the rug of my life. Fun. Huh? Let's hope it doesn't happen... But we're on a good course toward there.
Anyway, I don't want to bemoan too much. I've already found myself alone in bathrooms numerous times today. Alone, increasing the salt intake of my face. (aka, exercising my tear ducts... is it ducts?) Thank god I'm going home today. My mom just called me telling me she is home from Florida. I can't wait to sleep in my own bed tonight...
Much Love,
~ Jenna

Stupid Quizes, Wasting Time

I just spent a good amount of my double free taking stupid personality quizzes. Yeah... That's right. I don't know why they appeal to me so. I know my personality! Why do I need some quiz probably created by a twelve year old to tell me what my personality is like, or how I act, or how smart I am, etc. It's ridiculous. But, its also addicting... Apparently, out of all the elemental wolves, I am a fire wolf. Interesting, eh? And out of the elements in general, I am Aether. That is pretty cool actually. (Yeah, I know I'm a dweeb.)
Now, I'm wasting my time writing on this blog. Wait! Did I say wasting my time? Hahaha. No way! I'm not wasting my time. I'm using it productively. Informing the world on what I do when I'm unproductive. That is, take stupid quizzes. Haha. I ought to go to lunch now. Or pester someone to go to lunch with me... Good plan. This is an uber short post. But who cares? (You better not!) I'm hungry. Haha.
Much Love,
~ Jenna

Hi everyone. I'm testing the new texting thing on blogger. I hope this works... I'm a really slow texter though. So, I'll probably only use this to post quick ideas to expand on later. Okay then. That's enough texting for now. Haha. ~ Jenna

Glitter and Frills

So, I'm having a lot of trouble here. I can't find a prom dress I want. No, scratch that, I can. But it takes up 20 days to get here and my prom is in less than three weeks. Great, fabulous, wonderful. So I'm kind of upset. I also can't order it now because my mother is in Florida without me. They all packed up and left for a week and left me here. Cruel, I know.
Anyway, all of the dresses I look at are too short or too low, and my Dad has been making fun of me calling the ones I vaguely like slutty. It's almost not even worth it to look anymore. I just shouldn't go! It's not like I have a date or anything, or will have one in the future. Knowing the people at my school that is... (I would say sorry to those at my school who may be reading this, but to most of you, I'm not.) At the moment I'm either going by myself, taking my eight year old brother or asking my older cousin to go with me. As you can see, my love life is hoppin'. Hahaha.
I just want a red dress, preferably halter, that is about knee length. And I have found only one meeting those criteria. Which is at this link --> HERE So check that out, tell me what you think. If it's worth the possibly stressful wait, then I'll get it. Maybe they do express mail...
Much Love,
~ Jenna

Like a Lone Tree in an Open Field

Solitude. It is something I, for some reason, have been highly familiar with lately. (Yes I know first real post and on the same day as my revamp post. But who cares? Not me. This is how it’s going to go down now. 'Kay?) I find myself alone a lot. Maybe this is because I have no afternoon activity. Well... no real one. My afternoon activity this year is one scene in the spring play (shoot me) and afternoon art on Monday and Tuesday... So yeah, I find myself idle a lot due to this. And, since spring had regularly scheduled practices, everyone is in practice at around the same time. Which means... I sit in the comp lab alone... Or I go to the art center alone... Or I meander around campus alone... You get the point.
This has left me a lot of time to contemplate life. Hahaha. Yeah, right! Actually, I have just been worrying about things more and getting even less done. It's fabulous... not. But! I have a plan. I am going to start my play. This play is about some people doing stuff, I'm sure you'll like it. Haha. More specific plot points will come later... So. That is what I'll do. And I'll stop worrying about my lack of companions. And I'll stop thinking that my friends don't love me because they have commitments while I don't. Yup. Good stuff.
Much Love,
~ Jenna

Revamp!

Hey guys,
I've probably just lost all of my readers because I changed the address of my blog. Not that I had any readers left anyway... Since I haven't posted in forever... And yes, I know I said I would post more, but a million things came up.
So instead... I revamped!!! As you can see I have a new background and a new name, a new fancy name. So now, instead of "Opposites Repel" my blog is now known as "Bright Flaming Madness." Yay!!! Awesome, eh?
I kept all my old posts for the fun of it... And now I shall be posting more!!! (Yeah right... I mean, yeah!) Shorter, more frequent posts is my plan. Good plan, in my opinion. I will still rant, rave, and what not. Put up lyrics and stories, etc. But if you have anything you want me to rant about please let me know! Thanks guys who aren't here!!! Love ya!!!
Much Love,
~ Jenna