Ahh! Blog Anniversary!!!

I was going to write a really cool and epic post here about how my blog has been open for a year... But I'm too busy being in India... So I'll do that later.
Sorry dearies.
Much Love,
~ Jenna

Seventeen Ain't So Sweet

Yay! Happy Birthday to me! I’m seventeen today. Isn’t that exciting? The title of this post is the title of a song by Red Jumpsuit Apparatus, it has no relevance to my feelings on the age. Well, it doesn’t quite feel like my birthday. I don’t feel seventeen. You see, almost my whole life I have been waiting to turn sixteen. My birthday is on the sixteenth, so it would be my super sweet golden birthday, as I liked to jokingly call it. Plus, sixteen just seemed like such a good age. Now that is has come and gone, I feel sort of… lost? No, that’s not the right word. I just feel like my birthday means nothing at the moment. I mean, it does mean something, but not as much. It’s not taking me one step closer to the coveted age of sixteen because that has already happened. It’s only taking me farther from it. I could find a new age to look forward to, such as eighteen or twenty-one. But voting and drinking don’t have the same appeal to me as driving. So that’s how I feel about turning seventeen…
Now on to a look back at the past year. You know how much I like to look back. I must say that the past 364 days have really been quite eventful. I don’t think it would be a stretch in saying that it is one of the most jam packed with events, year of my life. A damn lot happened. Excuse my French. So, now you’re wondering what, I’m assuming. I’ll give a quick summary.
First and foremost, sophomore year of high school. I think that deserves an event. But sophomore year was a joke, I’m sorry. I did nothing productive. Well, nearly nothing. I recovered from a depression, which included many other problems that have ceased to continue. That is always a good thing, right? I learned to be more myself through my recovery and since then I have learned more. I made more friends, I love friends!
Then there were like a billion and a half little things. I left the country for the first time to go to Belize. I went overseas to India… where I still am. I got more than two lines in a musical. I was in a play, that was not a musical, and I actually had a part. Well, I had three parts and a lot of lines. And supposedly people said one of my parts was their favorite. Which is wonderful. I recovered from an intense writers block and finished my musical. I started and am nearly done with one of my plays. I joined my story writing site and have already written many stories. And many more things that I either can’t think or, don’t feel like listing, or don’t want to list.
Let’s just say, this year was extremely educational and influential. I learned a lot about myself, other people, and the world. The biggest thing is that there are very few things that I regret from the past year. I mean, there are always regrets, some big, some small, but not many. I’m very happy with the past year, I hope the next year is just as good, if not better!!!
Much Love,
~ Jenna

I Thought Everything That Could Have Gone Wrong By Now Had Already Crashed And Burned.

A long and depressing title, I know. But it holds true to my life at the moment. I thought I was in a moment of solidarity. Well, as solid as one can be in a foreign country with a bunch of people you barely know. But I was wrong. Because the lack of solidarity comes from elsewhere. Well, at least the main reason. I thought everything that could have gone wrong had already done so. Now all I know is that I have to listen to my fricken physic tendencies a little more.
I'm not going to go into the details, but I just found out some news that is not at all favorable. And the fact that I can't be there for the people it involves really bothers me. I'm 8000 miles away!!! I also discovered something interesting that I semi-predicted that could be wrong but I still find... interesting. I need to write down my "flash forwards" as I like to refer to them as. For they appear to be coming true. At the moment I can't think of one that has been proven wrong.
Wow, this could be a lucrative business. Haha. But really, this is no laughing matter. I am really upset about the news I received via Facebook. It really is quite depressing for numerous reasons. One being that I can't fricken be there!!! So now I vent my rage to my blog. Rage. Rage. Rage. Okay I'm done saying that word that starts with an 'R.'
I don't really know what to say about it. It's bothering me. I'm so upset and I can't deal with this issue until next year unless it's over the internet. And, yes, I have dealt with issue before over the internet. But a virtual hug is not any substitute for the real hugs I would like to give. I could totally be misinterpreting this and no one really needs a hug. But I think they do... and in 2009 they are going to get it. For now, virtual hugs and rage venting will have to do.
Much Love, (to most but not all)
~ Jenna

Off to India

Alright, I know I haven’t written in awhile but as I have said before, I haven’t had much inspiration and I have been getting ready for India. Speaking of India, I’m on the flight there right now! Yeah, yeah, I know that I can’t use the internet on a flight; I’m posting this later on, obviously. So it hasn’t really hit me yet. Even when my mom was literally in tears when she said good-bye to me today. She even put a card in my carry-on luggage, she is so cheesy. But it is cute, and I know I’m going to be doing the exact same thing when I’m a mom. Whenever that is.
So yeah, I’m not even an hour in on this seven plus ride to France, then we’re getting on another flight to Chennai. It’s going to be crazy intense. Maybe if I get internet in France I’ll post this. That will be interesting. So I have also started my India blog, but I decided since I haven’t posted on OR in awhile I would choose this one first. The India blog is: syaindia2008.blogspot.com. So my faithful few who are still reading can go check that out as well. Just when you comment don’t mention this blog. I told my mom about the India blog, it is mostly for her, but I haven’t told her about this one. Nor do I ever plan on telling her. Haha.
So I don’t really know what else to write. I think I’m going to write a story. I was going to do that originally but I felt awkward starting it with the people next to me possibly reading over my shoulder. Haha. They could be reading this right now. But yeah, the story would start oddly, that’s why. But I think I’ll start that right now. So talk to you later. Next time you hear from me I’ll be in India!!!
Much Love,
Abundant Felicity,
~ Jenna

Where Have I Been?

Okay, you may be wondering where I have been this past week or so. I usually write a lot more than this. But to tell you the truth I have been writing more! But not blog posts, stories. I have found this new site that I can put my short stories up on and get comments on them. It is really cool. I love it.
Since I do not like to have my family or friends read my stuff that often it is very good for me. I do not know these people and they are honest. I have been getting some good reviews too, which makes me quite happy. I have also been entering "contests" in which you often have to write a story with a certain scenario. Which gives me some well needed inspiration. For I often, as my readers know, do not know what to write about. On that subject! No one has told me what they would want me to write about yet!
Haha, well that's pretty much all I have to say now. Not much is happening, as usual... India in 18 days!!! Wooh!!! I'm very excited for that. I probably won't be writing when I initially get there, just to warn you. I also, as mentioned before, will have an India blog which will get most of my attention. So yeah... not much else.... so I guess that's it for today.
Much Love,
Abundant Felicity,
~ Jenna
P.S. I know that three out of the four comments on my last post were by the same person. I'd like to know who this mysterious person is because they seem to have taken a liking to my blog. I also know this person is a Facebook friend of mine, though I haven't a clue who it is. Just to let you know mysterious blog reader of mine. :) Thanks for reading!

Fine, Shoot Them Down. That Won't Stop Me.

Alright, I've found my inspiration for a new post. But, if you still want to give me an idea for next time 'round. Feel free to comment with it. Now, on to my inspiration. That happened mere minutes ago and caused me to come here to my room and blog about it.
So, last year, I was thinking film would be the area of career in which I would enter. I'm a story-teller, you see, and film, it was the first form of storytelling that comes to mind. But recently I have been leaning toward theater and just plain old writing. I feel like I would fit in more with that line of business than film.
Okay, so my grandmother is over and I was sitting and talking with her and my Mom. My Mom mentions that she recently met some woman with connections to one of the colleges I want to go to, but with the film program. So I informed her, for the millionth time, that I do not want to do film anymore. I would like to do theater. And she did not seem happy about that.
She told me that I won't make any money in theater. That only a few people do. But I personally think it doesn't have anything to do with money, it has to do with doing something you enjoy. But then again, they pay all this money for me to go to a private school so I ought to get a good paying job. At least that is how my mother and my step-father think.
So then my grandmother chimes in, telling me about how my mother wanted to be a dancer but she wouldn't let her for the same reasons my mother is against theater. My mom could have been a fricken Rockette and she is shooting down my dreams!
I just don't get it! Why would she do the same thing her mother did to her? She didn't get to follow her dreams, why won't she let me follow mine? It is very frustrating. Well, they are just going to have to deal with it. I'm going into whatever field of business I want. And they don't have to like it! They should want me to be happy. And money doesn't but happiness.
That is all I have to say about that.
Much Love,
Abundant Felicity,
~ Jenna

At The Moment... There's Really Nothing...

Hey There Readers! Yeah, that's what I said, readers. Muahahaha. I have at least three!!! Unless of course my friend posted three times, twice anonymously. Hmmm... That could be true. But hopefully isn't. Sorry for the lack of postage... I haven't had much access to the computer and... Well, I have nothing to write about.
There is not much happening in my life at the moment... since it's the summer. Thus, no inspiration to write about anything specific. Not even movie and TV I watch has inspired me on a blog topic. That is how little is happening in my life. I am leaving for India in less than a month though. That is exciting. Then I will have lots of things to talk about.
But then I'm going to start another blog as well. A just India blog so my parents don't know I have this one. They don't know... it's sort of funny. But then I won't want to post the same thing on both blogs so I will continue posting some stuff here, and I will also post the link to the India blog. That one will mostly be about what I do though, not how I feel, like this one is.
Soooooo, since I really have nothing to write about, (What a lovely 51st post...) I am branching out to you readers! Yes, you! I want you to give me some topics that bother of interest you and I will give my opinion on them. I may think like you, or I may think the opposite. But you never know until you give me your topic! So post those comments. I'm looking forward to them!
Much Love,
Abundant Felicity,
~ Jenna

50th Post!!! Time For A Partay!!!

Yeah, that's right. This is my fiftieth post on this blog! Wooh! Excitement!!! These fifty posts are over a period of nine months. (Like a baby!) I have done a lot of stuff and been through a lot of things these last nine months. Should we do a really cheesy, "Let's Look Back!"? Nah. I don't have enough readers to do one of those. As for the readers who have recently expressed their want for me to post more via Honesty Box on Facebook. I'd love it if you would comment on the posts here. They can be anonymous. So you secret likers of my blog, please do so. I like comments on here more than sketchy Honesty Box messages.
Now, on to the goods. Which I haven't figured out what they will be yet. It's the fiftieth post! It should be something special, right? Oh! A goal! If I take another nine months to do fifty more posts, to reach one hundred I will be done in April. Hmmm... Let’s make my goal to have one hundred posts by March. Take off a month... I dunno. I'd love to have one hundred in October. Then it would have taken me twelve months to write one hundred. But that's near impossible now. That's only three months to write fifty posts, and I'll be in India most of that time!
So... I still haven't thought of anything special for my fiftieth post... Oh! I got it! It's not that special, but it's good enough. I sample of my writing. Since I did say I was going to post some stuff, I just never got around to it. So a song... now I have to go find one that fits... Okay, this one is sort of short. But it's the only one that I have typed up that I feel comfortable putting on blogger. The rest of them are either too personal or have rhyme schemes that you need to hear in order to get. Or... they are on scraps of paper in my folder. So here it is...

Starless night
Black, no light
Shines through
For you, to see me

Day’s not soon
Can’t even see the moon
The glowing bright’s not where it used to be

You like? I actually really like this one. It’s one of my personal favorites. I wrote it at a weird time too. One in which I didn't have paper, so I just played it in my head until I got some paper. Thus, I sing it in my head a lot. I'm going to add to it someday. It's a bit short, but sweet.
Well, I guess that's it for the fiftieth post bonanza. Hope you enjoyed my rambling. That's really what this post was, rambling... Okay then, adios.
Much Love,
Abundant Felicity,
~ Jenna
P.S. On regards to my last post. I just recently found out that being straight edge is also supposedly stereotypical emo... wow; I'm more emo than I thought. Haha.

Cheer Up Emo Kid!

Emo... I'm feeling quite emo lately. Well, this week. I think I'm in another funk or something. I don't know. But I haven't seen any of my friends in god knows how long, people are ignoring me, I've had a lot of doctors appointments, and it's been raining. I normally enjoy rain, but it makes you more depressed when you already are depressed... or sad. That's the better word for it. No Jenna, you are not depressed, (again) you are sad. Yes... sad.
Some would call that emo, I guess. I'm kind of emo in a way... I write lyrics and poetry, some of which is sad. My next haircut I plan on getting bangs, emo bangs. (Haha) And well, people have told me I sort of am. Not people who aren't my friends though. Only people who are reasonably close to me have noticed this side.
You see, I wear bright colors. I like bright colors. People do not associate bright colors with emo. I am also quite hyper and random. Also, neither are associated with emo. So we have decided I am innerly emo. Oooo! Scary!
Well, I really don't have much to write on this topic. I actually don't have much to write at all. See! I am in a funk! Whenever I am sad I get writers block. Unless I'm like really, really, sad. Then I write some odd and violent stuff that is actually really good when I look back. But that's another story. So at least I'm not really, really, sad... There's a plus.
Much Love,
Abundant... Felicity, (For you, wish I could get some)
~ Jenna

I'm Back In Business!

Hey there readers! The negative two readers that I do have. Haha. I'm sure I have more... just none that actually read all the time. Just random people who pop in once, read a bit and never come again. Are you one of those? Or will you continue reading? I hope you are the later. But, that is not the point of this post. The point of this post is to talk about my reentry to the world of role-playing. Yes, that's right. I, Jenna, role-player extraordinaire, has finally launched herself back into the role-playing community after about a year of complete absence and a second year of random smatterings.
Why? You ask. Well, because I have a laptop now! Of course! I have more time to role-play and I don't have annoying brothers kicking me off of the computer right in the middle of a good thread. It's wonderful! It's magnificent!
Now for my history in role-playing and then for those of you who don't know what it is, I shall explain. But first, my history. I began role-playing around the age of twelve on Neopets. Yes, I know I was one of the sad youths who was obsessed with Neopets. Then about a year into my role-playing experience, my account was frozen. I was pissed. It was a really stupid reason too. And my awesome pets and petpets were destroyed.
So, I went in search for another role-playing home, and I found it. Gaia Online. I stayed on Gaia for a long time. I joined it right when the website was getting started up and it was great. There were not a lot of n00bs and people were helpful and nice. Then... I started high school. I attempted to continue role-playing through my freshman year but it just didn't work out, so by the end of the year I stopped role-playing all together.
Now, I have started up again. I tried to go back to Gaia, but it is now too commercialized. It's been in the New York Times for god’s sake. I mean, I'm happy for the site. But it was so little and cozy when I joined... now... it's not. The site I'm currently on I won't disclose so you can't come searching for me. Haha. I may someday, but not at the moment. I'm just starting to establish myself again on this site, and it is quite fun being back.
For those of you who don't know what role-playing is. You could check Wikipedia, or listen to my explanation. Role-playing is like telling a story, or writing a book. Except, you are only in control of one character. Others around you play the other characters. You take turns posting what your character does and how it interacts with everyone else’s. You can role-play one on one, but I prefer groups, so if your current story is boring you can read what is happening around you. No, I do not do sexual role-plays. I do not cyber. Most naive non role-players assume that is what you're doing when you speak of role-playing. Real role-players don't do that. There is no story or substance, plus it’s perverted and wrong anyway. I just tell stories, like writing a book. A pg rated book. Haha.
Well, if you have any questions for me or really want to know my current role-play home add a comment. I may get back to you. Now, I'm going to get back to my role-playing. For it is great fun!
Much Love,
Abundant Felicity,
~ Jenna

Insignificantly Enough, It Makes A Significant Difference

People can be extremely nice sometimes, making you happier and feeling better about yourself. But other times people can also be very mean, causing you to feel unhappy and bad about yourself. Sometime these nice and mean things are intentional, done so you can feel those feelings. The most influential though is when these things are unintentional. When someone unintentional makes you feel nice abut yourself, it feels a lot nicer than if it is intentional, because you feel it is from the heart. But the same goes for unintentionally, though the bad act may not necessarily be from the heart, it is at least done subconsciously, unknowing of the hurt it causes. And thus, causing more. Well, that is the way it is for me at least...
So pretty much, it hurts, it hurts badly when someone does something that unintentionally bad to me. Whether that be not returning an e-mail or phone call that I expect a reply from, or not noticing me as I walk past you in the hall. I know, I know, I do these things too. But that is why I am writing about it. About this dilemma in human kind. People often unintentionally hurt other people. It's a dilemma for the ages.
But there is always a flip side. The unintentional help. The little acts that people do that you often take for granted. You may not even realize that it may put a smile on someone’s face when you hold a door open or pick up something someone may have dropped. I personally have been noticing it a lot more lately, being on crutches and all. I'm always stuck hoping someone will open a door for me now, for it is hard to do it without transferring my crutches to one hand and holding the door open with my back while I attempt to hop through. And when you are left hoping for these little acts of good will, you obviously notice them more.
Well, I guess the point of this little post is to watch what you're doing. You could be hurting someone badly, or brightening someone’s day. Technically its sort of good when you don't notice the good things you do. For then they become habit and you make more people happy. Making people happy is good. I love being happy!!! But let me tell you it is quite hard being happy when you are stuck wearing crutches and a knee brace... I just say look at the bright side, people open doors for you more!
Much Love,
Abundant Felicity,
~ Jenna

The New Layout And Other Random Thoughts

How do you like my new layout? I was getting bored of the pink and I had heard some comments about it being quite bright... though it was black. I don't really enjoy pink that much anyway. I have recently started to really like red, so I decided upon a red layout/template. So do you like?
I like it. I think it fits well with me and all that. How about you? I just keep asking questions don't I? Hahaha. Well, it took me awhile to find this layout. I found one but all the text was in an ugly gray color and I couldn't find a new color that matched. So I decided upon this.... it has butterflies. Hahaha.
I'm currently listening to some Andrew Lloyd Webber songs. He is amazing, did you know that? I love him. I wish I could meet a composer like him and they could help me put music to my lyrics. That would be more amazing than anything. Maybe it will happen, right?
Oh god I love the song "Don't Cry For Me Argentina." He is so amazing, did I say that? That's why he is so rich, because he is amazing. Most people who are amazing end up being rich, and most people who are rich are amazing or have amazing parents. That's how it works. I hope I'm amazing or will be amazing. That would be amazing. Hahahahaha.
I wish life was a musical. I know I have already written a post about that but I really do. And listening to amazing musical music makes me wish it all the more. Alright. I'll let you go so I can ramble within my mind rather than in type. Hahaha. Adios.
Much Love,
Abundant Felicity,
~ Jenna

YAY!!! I HAVE A NEW LAPTOP!!!

Oh my goodness! This is so exciting!!! I have anew laptop!!! Wooh!!! It's so exciting. My old laptop was my step-dads and it didn't have internet capabilities. Now, I have an awesome new computer with all sorts of great stuff on it and the internet!!! Wooh!!! Excitement!!!
So now I can post much easier and all that stuff and it should be so much greater and I'm so excited if you can't tell from my extreme rambling. I'm on it right now by the way. I enjoy laptop keyboards. They are nice and make cool noises. Hahaha.
Well, its a Dell inspiron and it has a bunch of memory and RA and stuff and it was on sale so it was a great deal. I love great deals!
So I am currently adding all of my c-ds on to the itunes on my computer. Then I'm going to move everything that is mine form my family desktop computer to this computer. Well, not everything but a lot of stuff. That will make my family happy for it will make that comp a bit faster because it is jam packed with stuff. Seven different people use it, what do you expect? Well, now my older brother and I have laptops so it will be faster. Isn't that nice?
This comp also has a webcam so I can talk to my family and friends when I'm in India. That will be very convent and nice and fun to do. Ahh!!! I absolutely love my laptop!!!!
Much Love,
Abundant Felicity,
~ Jenna
P.S. A new interesting post will be coming soon. Haha.

My Oppressive Step-Father

My Step-father. I love him to death. I've known him my whole life and he is no doubt like a second father to me. But, at times, he can be a bit over protective. Oppressive is how I like to think of it when I’m not very happy about it. He has all sorts of ridiculous "rules" about what I can and can't do. I'm never sure if he is actually serious about some of them or not. So when, not if, I break them I'm not sure how he will feel about that. I already have broken a few and I have no idea how to tell him, or if I ever will. I hate hiding things from my family but he makes it impossible not to if I want to have a normal life. Not that my life is anywhere near normal in the first place. What is a normal life anyway? Whatever, never mind, topic for another day. Hahaha.
So first, usage of technical equipment. I can barely ever use the computer and he hates it when I talk on the phone. The thing is, when I am IMing people he tells me to use the phone!!! It's very frustrating. He often doesn't let us use the game consoles he bought for us or watch TV at night like normal people. But whatever, I've learned to get around those things.
The thing that annoys me the most about his oppressive attitude is he view on my interaction with guys. His view is none at all. Like I can't even have friends that are guys. The thing is that he went to an all guys school so he didn't really have a large amount of interaction with women during his high school years. What I have heard about such interactions is not good stuff; pretty much he thinks all guys are like he was. And if that's how he thinks I can't blame him for trying to protect me in this way. But he isn't my Dad; therefore he doesn't really have control of me in that way. My Dad doesn’t even! It frustrates me because if I mention a guy’s name who may be a friend he instantly asks me who they are and stuff. I don't even know if he's serious about half of it though. It just leaves me pissed and confused about the whole matter.
But whatever, I'll learn to get better at hiding things form him. Hahaha. It's worked so far. So, do any of you have any sort of oppressive parent or something? Please share.
Much Love,
Abundant Felicity,
~ Jenna
P.S. To emphasize my point. Right when I finished this post I had to get off because my step-dad was kicking me off. Now that I have edited I can put it up. :)

The Nerve Of Some People!

I'll just say I'm sorry once instead of a million times like I usually do. So, sorry for not posting for a long time. I was busy with annoying and not so annoying things, including recovering from getting hit, vacations, and Rock Band for Wii. I'll just get started then.
So, as many or all of my few readers know I got hit by a car two weeks ago. I couldn't give too many details last post so I will now. This will eventually unfold to explain my choice of title. I'll begin with my injuries.
They told me in the hospital I didn't have any, but five days later they call my mom in Hilton Head and tell her my pelvis might be cracked and I might have a chip in my knee. Nice, huh? Well, I have now gotten a cat scan of my pelvis and it's fine. On Wednesday I'll have an MRI of my knee to see what's wrong but it shouldn't be that bad according to the doctor. I can walk just fine, well there is a bit of a limp, and they still want me to be in my knee brace and use crutches. Screw that! I like to walk on my own thank you. Though I am supposed to keep weight off of my knee... And that's pretty much the depth of my injuries. I was pretty lucky.
So, the other day, I think last Sunday, my mom and I went to go get the police report. Let me tell you right now, it's a frickin stupid police officer who wrote that report. I did not, and I repeat not run in front of that car. I kind of walk-leaped. It was by no means run. The only accounts he got was the driver, who wanted to make herself look good, and the mail man who didn't have a good view. And the mail man did not call out to me, the lair. Maybe he did, after the car hit me, but that's too late buddy, I was knocked out by then.
So yeah, the police report did not make me happy. It makes me sound like an idiot. I looked both ways; there were no cars when I looked. Five seconds later she's there hitting me. And she has the nerve to say I ran out! She was speeding!!! Frickin woman ruined my summer and she makes me out to be an idiot. I can't do zilch this summer but sit and she only has to pay some insurance bills. She hasn’t even come to see if I'm alight! Can you believe that?!?!?
Well, whatever. It's almost over anyway. I should be fine by the time anything that matters starts. They just are really annoying. But whatever. 'Till next time.
Much Love,
Abundant Felicity,
~ Jenna

Near Death Experiance: I Got Hit By A Car! (This is True)

Hey there people. You are probably looking at the title and wondering what it is all about. Or you saw my Facebook status and wanted the details of my little... experience. So yeah, here it is. I'll give it all. I got hit by a car. It's true. I'm fine. Now, listen to my story. (Hahaha, so cheesy sounding.)
So yesterday, my whole family (My mom, my older brother, two of my younger brothers and my sister) were supposed to go on a plane to Hilton Head, South Carolina for our vacation. My step-dad was coming from Ottawa to meet us there. Our flight was at 4:30 but we left a little early so we could go to the library and CVS. Well, as we were going up the driveway, the car all packed, everything ready for our flight, the mail-man drove up.
Now, I must just take a minute to explain a bit about my street. I live on a pretty busy street. The speed limit is 35 but everyone drives at least 45, and if you drive the speed limit they beep at you. Our mail box is then across the street. It's to save gas for the postal service I guess, all the mailboxes on one side of the street. Stupid if you ask me.
So, I went across the street to grab the mail from the mail man. "Isn't the mail being stopped today?" he asked me, for we had stopped it for our trip. "We're leaving right now," I told him, as he handed me the mail. I then looked past him to see the expanse of street behind him to the left of us, and then I turned looked to the right and saw no one there so I began to cross. But, while I had been turning to the right and walking the length of the mail truck, a woman had driven up on the left side. I didn't see her because the mail truck was in my way, and she didn't see me for the same reason. All she saw was my mom at the top of the driveway, about to pull out. Thinking that she would beat her she sped up right as I stepped out and BOOM! She hit me.
All I remember is seeing the car; I didn't even realize it was going to hit me. My mom said I must have seen the car behind instead as I was being hit. For that's when I went blank. The next thing I knew I was in an ambulance surrounded by strange men who were poking me and injecting me with things. I had forgotten everything that had happened that day. It felt like a dream that I was having on Friday night or something, that the whole thing was a dream. But being in the ambulance made me realize what was really happening. I felt tear on my cheek, I hurt in all different places, I had a neck brace on, and when I pinched myself... nothing happened. So I freaked out, and I feel sort of bad for the ambulance guys. I kept asking them what color shirt I was wearing and if my toe-nails were painted, to see if all of Saturday had been a dream or not. Then I started asking for my mom and telling them to call my dad. I slowly remembered what happened, getting the mail, seeing the car, etc.
My mom said I woke up before the ambulance. While I was on the ground and she was holding me. She said I was talking to her and the noise of the ambulance was what made me cry, it was what made it real. I'm glad I can't remember that though. Seeing al the neighbors around and the car that hit me wouldn't have been a good experience. They say I cracked the wind shield and dented the hood. I flew up, hit the windshield and the hood with my left side then fell onto the pavement on my right side, scraping my elbow, my head, and my hip.
The ambulance took me to the hospital where they took me to the emergency trauma center. Yeah, that's right; I'm a trauma patient now. Wooh! Well, on to my story. I got a cat scan so they could take off the neck brace and after that they x-rayed my knee, my pelvis, and my back. Everything was fine, thank god. I went back to my little room where they took out my iv's, gave me crutches and a knee brace, and sent me on my way. Weird, huh? I got hit by a car and I didn't even stay over night, six hours max.
So now I'm fine. Very achy, but fine. My left knee and upper left shoulder are hurting but everything appears to be fine. I'm glad it's not my right shoulder, and then I wouldn't be able to write!!! Well, I'll be good soon. I have a knee brace and all that, but it's good. We're actually going to Hilton Head today. I feel well enough to be put on a plane. Funny huh? So I'll update the blog sometime after the 28th. I'll bring more info about the woman who hit me and stuff. Until then.
Much Love,
Abundant Felicity,
~ Jenna

Who Am I To Judge?

I guess I come across as judgmental. Some people have told me that people have told them that they think I am judgmental. One of my friends seems to persistently tell me "Don't judge me!" And I always reply, "I don't judge, trust me!" Yeah, I don't judge. I don't know why I come across as judgmental, maybe it's my natural look on my face. Maybe it screams, "I'm judging you." I don't know. Well, I do. Sort of.
You see, I'm straight edge. I may have mentioned this before but who cares I renew your weak feeble memories. (Yes, you are weak and feeble. Hahaha) So straight edge is a personal choice. When one decides not to drink, do drugs, smoke, etc. Those three are my main choices. There are others that people take on with the title, such as vegetarian. I like chicken to much to become a vegetarian, so I'm not jumping on that boat to quickly. (Sorry chickens, you are just to delicious to let you live) Another thing people choose is to not have promiscuous sex. Well, I don't plan on having sex at all any time soon. (Especially if it's promiscuous. Haha.) So I guess I'm on that boat too. Haha. In some minds it has a bad name though because one time in like Utah or somewhere there were a bunch of Straight Edge gangs, attacking people who did not take on that lifestyle. Well, I don't do that. I barely flaunt it. I just sort of use it as an accuse for why I don't drink and stuff. It deters people much better than "I don't drink" does.
So the point of telling you all of that. The people whom I know who do drink and such see my as judgmental because I don't, I guess. This sucks because they don't want me around in the first place because I don't do anything and now they especially don't want me around because they think I judge them for the things they do and I don't. Well I don't judge! I just don't do that stuff for my own personal reasons; you can do it if you want. You're choice, who am I to judge?
The real reason I don't judge is because I am afraid of people judging me. They say those who are judgmental don't wish to be judged. But what about those who aren't judgmental because they themselves don't want to be judged? What about them? Well, I'm one of them. One of the self -conscious people who don't judge in fear of being judged. I know it's not nice to judge because of my fear. I do often make assumptions, but I never judge you by your actions or words. I just find out for myself though experience what you are like. Sometimes the assumptions are wrong, but I never take them to heart until proven. So do what you want, who am I to judge?
Much Love,
Abundant Felicity,
~ Jenna

Someday I'm Going To Be There Too

So, last night I watched the Tony's. You know the award ceremony for Broadway. Much like the Oscars of the Grammies. Well little did I know but this award ceremony touched me in a way I never thought it would. You see I've never actually watched the Tonys before. I never know when it's on and when I do know it’s on at weird times and my family is not interested. So I taped it this year with our TiVo and watched it later on. Yay! My first official Tony watching.
I watched it, right? Well, midway though the preview show or whatever I started crying. Yes, I started to cry, during the Tony's! Who does that?!? What is tear provoking about an awards show? Half the time they are so boring you want to poke your eyes out. I don't know but something was for me.
I'll describe the actual point in which I started to called "Grease, You're the One That I Want." It was a reality show that's point was to choose the new Sandy and Danny for a revival of Grease on Broadway. Well the people who I wanted to win won, which made me quite happy. So during the Tonys they came up and sang a song and stuff. It touched me somehow. Their success story or something. You know, they were normal people a little bit ago and now they're singing on the Tonys! That's amazing!!!
I think that is what I want. I want a success story like that. I want to win a Tony! No, I do not want to be on Broadway. I want to write for Broadway, or direct Broadway. I want to be famous for my writing. That is my one true dream. I want it so bad it hurts. Literally. There is a panging throb in my chest sometimes when I think about it. You may know that feeling when you want something or are waiting for something. But it's not a good feeling like it sometimes is. It actually causes me discomfort. I want to have my work on Broadway so much that is actually causes my physical discomfort. That is sad. I am a sad soul whose dreams will never come true. But hey, they may someday. Dream Big! Ahh... well... hope is all I can have now. And writing a lot. Maybe someday you'll see my name in lights.
Much Love,
Abundant Felicity,
~ Jenna

I Have A Problem...

I have a problem... (As my title says) I am completely, utterly, wholly, entirely, a hopeless romantic. Yes, that's right folks. I, Jenna, will swoon at any ounce of romance anywhere. I literally look for it I enjoy it that much. Most movies can make me cry if they have a decent love story. It actually barely has to be decent, just one at all! I find myself searching for the romance in children’s cartoons and watching people randomly and making up stories for them in my head. It is horrible. For it leaves expectations for my life and others that can not be fulfilled. Life is not a love story and my heart wants to make it so. But my mind knows it isn't and won't be. But as usual, my heart always wins. (This is another problem... for another day...)
So, you ask why this may be a problem? Who doesn't like a little romance? Let your mind go wild you say. Well, I can't let my mind go wild, if I did that who knows where I'd be now. Probably dead, or in an insane asylum. I'm serious. I have to keep a tight rein on this mind of mine. It is very crazy, very intense. And being a hopeless romantic does not help...
You see, I like to write, as you already know. But, it is quite hard to write a decent story when all you want to do is focus on the cute little romance you made between two characters. The majority of people in the world are not like me! They may like a little romance here and there but they do not want to be bombarded with it! I can't focus on the main story line with such a problem... It makes it less diverse... but awfully cute! No! We do not like cute Jenna!!!
Ahh... You see my problem? That part of my over active imagination does not help in life. It almost depresses me at times. Not that any part of my over active imagination helps me at the moment. It is currently making me jump from one story to the next, not focusing, always wanting something new, and never finishing. Well, now you know of my problem and maybe can understand why it plagues me so. Whatever, I'll learn to deal with it. Well... maybe... Though I complain, I might kind of like it… He-he…
Much Love, No! Scratch that. Much Enjoyment... Ick... Eh, never mind...
Abundant Felicity,
~ Jenna

Brothers! Can't Live With Them, Can't Live Without Them.

Why yes. This blog post shall be about my brothers. My lovely abundance of brothers. I have four brothers, (And two sisters but they are not relevant to this post... Sorry guys) one older and three younger. My older brother is 17 and my younger brothers are 12, 7, and 4. Yes quite a range I know. My youngest two brothers are half siblings. One from my Mom and my step-dad the other from my Dad and my step-mom. My other two siblings are from both of my biological parents. So yeah, that is a summary on my brothers, but why am I writing about them? Because of love them of course. And they are highly amusing. Hehehe...
So my two eldest brothers are absolutely adorable. I know, odd to be calling a 17 year old and a 12 year old adorable but it's true they are so cute. Not that my younger siblings aren't cute too, they are just cute in a different way. The way in which my elder brothers are cute is with girls. My 17 year old brother has this new girlfriend and they are sooooo cute. Well, I haven't met her and it would be really funny if either of them read this but I think they look so cute together. He obviously really likes her too. She is so much better for him than his old girlfriend. Though I don't know her they seem quite similar which is very cute. (I've said cute to many times...) Well, as for my other 12 year old brother. He is just starting his awkward adolescence stage and it is quite obvious. His voice is deeper and he takes more showers. (Thank god!) He has told me all about this girl he likes and the girls who potentially like him. It is so funny because I remember just a year ago he was telling me all about how he hates all the girls. Now he doesn't! Hahaha. It's just so cute!
Now, another reason I love my brother is that I can manipulate them quite evilly. They also help me with a lot of my problems. Though his advice is often quite crude or blunt my older brother always seems to make me feel better about my current problems I'm telling him about. And I have figured out a way to tell him a level of detail that just irks him sometimes and it is quite hilarious. It's so funny when he yells at me and tells me to stop telling him things that I save for my friends because "I'm his sister!" I love him, and he probably doesn't even know how much. (God let's hope he doesn't read this. Hahaha.)
As for my younger brothers. I love them to death as well. It has been so much fun to watch them grow up. My 7 year old brother always cried when I leave on any sort of prolonged trip. We haven't told him about India yet, he won't be able to stand it. He cries about how he doesn't want to go to college and how he doesn’t want me to go. It's so cute. This sounds like he cries a lot but he doesn't really. He's tough and plays with all the "big kids." Then my 4 year old brother. I always say he's my little buddy. When I'm older he is going to be so spoiled by me and he seems to know it. He does have a way of injuring my every time he sees me though. Probably because he is huge for a four year old, and way too smart. Hahaha.
I love them all. I don't know why I was inspired to write this but I think I need to appreciate them in some form of writing. So here it is. I wouldn't be the girl I am today without my men. Hahaha. Love you guys!
Much Love,
Abundant Felicity,
~ Jenna

Whatever! I Say Screw It!

So I had an idea on what to write about today but I forgot it. Wonderful of me I know. It was a good idea too... But whatever. Screw it. The topic of this blog post! Yay! So over the last couple of weeks in which I have been absent much has been going on. Good, bad, in between. Too much to summarize, so I won't. I'll just say I've used the expression in my title a lot lately, about numerous things.
One. Grades. I did decent but not as well as my step-father would have liked. But, there is nothing I can do about it now right? So I say screw it and let it be. I'll try harder next year and see how that turns out. So I'm currently waiting until the grades are mailed to my house and not telling my parents about the e-mail I got with my grades. So I can have a week or two of peace this summer.
Two. Exercise? Yeah, well my parents are making me do this stupid track program so I actually exercise. One thing, the only people who do track programs at my age are people who like track. The second thing, I don't need to be fit to write. And with my metabolism I can maintain this no exercise attitude for much of my life before I actually get fat. Which is quite convenient, thank you Mom, Dad, and genetics. Screw it, when it comes to exercise. I'll work on getting out of the track thing...
Three. I'm not really sure. I've run out of ideas that can last a whole paragraph... Here are the ones that only need listing. All of these things I say screw it too, just to clarify. Cleaning my room. Exams. Caring about the fact that I'll be away from my home school for 210 days and all that comes with that. Worrying about India. White teeth. My lack of money and how it seems to disappear as soon as I get some. Many other things that I can't think of at the moment... So yeah, I'm going to stop worrying about the unnecessary and worry about what I need / want to worry about this summer. Writing.
My goal is to get my play done, some of my musical and possibly start drafting my book. Yeah I know a steep task for my short summer. But if I don't finish I can take it to India with me. Give me something to do on the plane ride over. Hahaha.Well adios, I'll post soon I promise!!!
Much Love,
Abundant Felicity,
~ Jenna
P.S. Did I mention I'm going to India? I'll still blog while there. I am actually going to start a just India blog as well. Well I'm going for about 115 days. August 27th to December 19th or so. I'm looking forward to that. Should be fun!!!

Stressed?!? NO! I'm not stressed!!!

Yeah, that title is sarcastic... I am currently under the gun. I don't even know why I'm writing this blog post I have that much to do. Exams are next week, but I only have three this term... so that is good. Wrong! That means I also have this HUGE English paper due this week, a Spanish paper, a bunch of History homework, a Spanish verb test, and a SMB test on the New Testament! I'm stressed alright.
Then this weekend is graduation, so all the seniors are graduating and that is sad. So I'm sad about that. And then I'm going to India in August, so the people who are still remaining at school and do not live close by I will not see for about six months! Bitter sweet I guess, since India will be amazing!!! What I lose at my current school, I'm gain in India. So I keep telling myself.
Despite this stress, life has been pretty good in other areas. My parents aren't too annoying. No major fights with my friends. Everything is fine, dandy, and delicious. So yeah, just updating you since I haven't written in awhile. I'll update again when this weight is off my shoulders and I'm into summer. Or during a lull in exam week.
Much Love,
~ Jenna

I Have Survived the AP!!!

Alright, so I just spent like three plus hours in one room doing a stupid AP test. AP World History. It wasn't as hard as I thought it would be, but it was still quite hard. One of the free response questions, I completely made up. Pretty much the whole entire thing was guessed facts. It is almost funny.
Well, some people were ready to cry after that. I was actually proud of myself for finishing every essay. I thought I wouldn't be able to finish everything. And i was half way through my skipped multiple choice questions when they called time for that. I thought I wouldn't be able to finish my first run through. It was exciting... in a strange way.
Well, my first AP is done. My only one for this year, but in the future I'll have more. I dread them and anticipate them at the same time. I hope I do well one this one, which would be nice and convenient. My mother told me I have to get a four or a five; I'll probably get a three. The scoring is one through five, five being the best. One is if you fill it in. Hahaha.
I'm kind of happy I'm done now. Nothing left to do in history class. Wooh!!! Now all we'll do is party and go out to lunch. Hahahaha. Well, this post is really short but I'm out of steam. So yeah, I can't think of anything to write anymore... Woot!!! AP is done!!!
Much Love,
Abundant Felicity,
~ Jenna

FINE! Another Freewrite...

Alright, so I was told to free write again. I asked everyone what I should write about today and I was told to free write, or write about Rain. No other suggestions, how great my friends are. Hahaha. So, now I shall start!...? What about? Well, let's start with Rain.
Rain, it's wet. I love rain actually. My brother and I like to dance in the rain. A little drizzle isn't good for dancing though, it must be a good downpour. My mother yells at us, so we haven't done it many times. And we usually aren't together when dancing but it is fun anyway. I had a dream once about the rain. Well, I have had many but this is a specific instance. It was the first dream I had about my school, the night after I was interviewed. It's one of my favorite dreams, even though I once had a messed up morbid version of it... I like the original better. So, I was dancing in the rain, with an umbrella by the pond near the field hockey fields. Random, I know. And to the side of me there were three people watching, a brunette girl, a blonde girl in pig-tails and a guy with sort of spiky hair. It was interesting.... omen? Doubt it... I'm not friends with many blonde girls who wear pig-tails or guys with sort of spiky hair. I do have a surplus of brunette girl's who are my friends. Hahaha. I enjoy being a brunette by the way. It is annoying that there are so many of us, but I don't have to deal with the dumb blonde stereotype. Though, jokingly, my father says I should be a blonde and my cousin tells me I will eventually dye my hair blonde like our mothers. Our mothers, my Mom and her sister, have both dyed there hair blonde. They also both love ruffles chips and butterscotch. I like butterscotch too, but not ruffles chips. (Wow, this truly is random.) Butterscotch is actually my favorite candy. Butterscotch, my ant-drug. Hahaha. I haven't had it in forever though; it truly does make me happy though. It is kind of odd. I have odd things that make me happy. Bananas and cheerios make me hyper actually. It is really odd; when I eat either of them I feel sort of more energetic and stuff. Or maybe I just feel weirder. Or maybe it is just me thinking all of this. I think too many things, if only I could stop thinking!!! I analyze every little thing and it gets quite bothersome. I can't listen to a song without finding the lyrics, analyzing them and finding out the meaning that the artist meant it to have. I have ruined many a song for both myself and my friends. But, I feel that the meaning is what makes a song good. If an artist can not portray the meaning of the song through the music than they have failed. At least in my opinion. It's why I can't listen to classical music... no lyrics. I write a lot of lyrics. I actually should post some sometime. I think I will. I also write stories and plays. I'm currently writing this play that is quite morbid... It kind of scares people when I tell them about it. Hahaha. It involves many trends that are quite morbid and depressing, but surprising writing it makes me happy. That is why I write these free writes, it makes me happy to write anything!
Well, I think I'll stop on that note. Now that it is quite long. Hahahaha. There was a lot of laughing in this. I had to resist putting more Hahahaha's. So, till next time.
Much Love,
Abundant Felicity,
~ Jenna

Much Love?

I am feeling very loved at the moment. I think I am at least. Hahaha. Well, it seems that the random things I do that are just me provoke warm fuzzy feelings in others, toward me of course. I swear I've heard, "I love you Jenna," or something along the lines like a million times from like twenty different people this week alone! (Well, a bit of an exaggeration... not quite a million. Hahaha) I guess it is my quirks that I take for granted, because, well... I live with them. I can't really get a rest from myself. I was called endearing the other day. And I, The Queen of Vocabulary, forgot what it meant. Hahaha.

Main Entry:
en·dear
Pronunciation:
\in-'dir, en-\
Function:
transitive verb
1 obsolete : to make higher in cost, value, or estimation
2: to cause to become beloved or admired [They endeared her to the public]
— en·dear·ing·ly \-iŋ-lē\ adverb

Well, that's it. Hahaha. Won't forget it now. But, back to my topic. It appears as though people love me a lot more than they did before. What I mean is that before this month or so people just regarding me as Jenna. Now I seem to be regarded as more than that in more people's eyes. I'm regarded as amusing. And it is rather nice. Except when I have no idea why people are laughing at me. Hahahaha. It’s got me thinking though. Does our modern culture use the word "love" to lightly? Or is it just my school? Hahaha. Well everyone everywhere tells everyone that they love them. For random reasons, like opening a door, getting someone a cookie. It's nice to show such affection, but do you really love said person. If you say "I love you" to everyone for everything it loses its touch. The word doesn't have the luster it used to have.
You may love these people, as friends, family, etc. But I personally think we should save the expression for special moments, not when someone goes to fetch a backpack with you. Maybe for times when you stay on the phone with someone for hours, helping them resolve problems. Or when you help someone who is sick or hurt. Not simple everyday things.
I am guilty of the overuse of the word love. You can see, I end most of my posts with "Much Love." But that is not as bad as "I love you" all the time. But, I do that as well. And I mean it, but I should save it, so it is more special to everyone.
Much Love...?
~ Jenna

The Painful Truth

Pain...? Yes, it is something I am familiar with. Physically, emotionally, mentally, and any of those other "ly"'s (Except Sexually, and anything similar... Heh-heh) So yes... pain. Great pain, not so great pain, little pain, big pain, immense pain, happy pain, throbbing pain, you know the works. The reasons for my pain today, well I can't say. There are many reasons. Some I can't quite put my finger on, some I could get a bulls eye on if my pain where a dart board. Yes, pin is something I know. Pain is something we all know.
I don't quite know why I decided to talk about pain today. It's not like I'm depressed again. I'm far from that. Any maybe, that is the cause of my pain. No, I do not mean that being happy causes me pain. What I mean is the things that come along with happiness and what come along with actually being social sometimes complicate things. And complication often leads to pain.
I guess you could say that I am glad for the complications. For this pain that I have now is not the pain I used to endure when I was feeling low. It's a different kind of pain, a confused heart throbbing pain. A pain that I know wouldn't quell with the making of more pain as old pains did. A pain that has many solutions, all confusing and all impossible for my heart to want to pursue.
You know of this pain, I bet you do, yet you don't know it. It's a mixture of anxiety, confusion, excitement, and all the rest of those high strung feelings. I know there is one path I should follow to end this pain, but it is easier said than done. And as I've observed, it still doesn’t get easier there is just new pain.
Now, I shall stop depressing you. And no I'm not depressed... I'm just reflective. (This keyboard squeaks...) Well, talk to you later.
Much Love, (Yes, I know you missed the love)
~ Jenna

The Grass Is Always Greener

I'm depressed... no, I'm annoyed. I'm annoyed at the fact that I think I'm depressed when really I am annoyed. At myself. At my lack of ability to do anything that I want to do. At my lack of ability to just assert myself and be myself and not hide in the corner, and not look down at the floor or be afraid of eye contact... with anyone for that matter. Did you know that? I'm afraid of eye contact... and I don't really know why. It freaks me out... to personal or something. I'd rather look at your forehead, or nose, or just past your face. I do not like to look into people's eyes. But this is off subject. I'm still annoyed.
I know of another person who is annoyed, she is also annoyed by her lack of ability. I tell her that she is at least able to get past the stage in which is blocking me. She can talk; she can make eye contact... I can't. She tells me that what I want is not all it's cracked up to be... well, the grass is always greener my friend. And at the moment, my grass is pretty burnt and ugly. I'd like a taste (or feel rather) of soft green grass. I'm sick and tired of old dead burnt grass!!! Well, now I'm speaking in code. Sort of. Well, if you can interpret this you are quite skilled. I applaud you... but you're probably wrong.
So pretty much I am frustrated and annoyed at myself for being stupid. Very stupid. In a place where I should not be stupid. Stupidity is bad in the place that it is coming out. Eye contact... I should practice...
Whatever,
~ Jenna

Words, Words, Words

In the spirit of free writing I have decided to do a word association thingy. I'm going to start with one word then write a word that I think of with that word and so on. Let's see where I end up!
Okay I’ll start with, because I am in the computer lab…
Computers. Printers. Paper. Paint. Red. Apple. Fruit. Vegetables. Carrot. Rabbit. Sesame Street. Barney. Dinosaur. Triceratops. The Land Before Time. My Cat. Woburn. Cigarettes. Youth. Innocence. Love. Valentines Day. Being Single. Marriage. Divorce. My Parents. My Step-Parents. Beaches. Shells. My Former Babysitter. Babysitting. Dragonflies. Glass Cups. Glasses. Blindness. Darkness. Night. Twelve Midnight. Crabs. Rhode Island. Water Skiing. Jet Skiing. Maine. Boats. New York. Broadway. Writing. Reading. Books. Magical Powers. Role-playing. Gaia. Decline. Incline. Circle. Geometry. Algebra. Numbers. Television. Movies. My Cousin. Confirmation. Religion. The Pope. Old. My Grandparents. Florida. Disney World. Swimming Pools. Life Jackets. My Brother. Music. Paramore. Owls. Mice. Winter. Snow. Rain. Umbrellas. Plaid. Sweater Vests. Khaki Pants. Easter. Jelly Beans. Starbursts. Skittles. Soul Mates. Happiness. Sadness. Depression. Suicide. Friends. Fun. Sun. Hot. Cold. Refrigerators. Smoothies. Breakfast. Dinner. Chairs. Sofas. Recliners. Brookstone Store. Twenty Questions. MASH. Eighth Grade. High School. Brooks. Education. Writing. Life. Love. Hearts. Stars. Bananas. Hyper. Cheerios. Child Hood Games. Shoots and Ladders. Snakes. Lizards. Imaginary Friends. Cartoon Network. Channel Locks. The Number Four. Green. Trees. Forests. My Grandmothers Old House. Peaches. Fuzzy. Bears. Fires. Fire Men. Police Men. Guns. Violence. Blood. Vampires. Garlic. Italian Food. Alfredo Sauce. The Macaroni Grill. The Loop. Bath and Body Works. Lotion. Hands. Feet.
Okay. That’s Hundred Fifty Words. I think I’ll stop at that. Plus I have practice in five minutes. So I shall go. Hope you enjoyed my journey from Computers to Feet. Hahaha.
Abundant Felicity,
~ Jenna

Stand Up Comedian or Talk Show Host? Well... Maybe...

Okay, so I have been told to free write. I’m not really sure why, but the reasons appear to be about the fact that I seem to make people laugh. I’m not really sure how I make people laugh, I’m just being myself and people laugh. Is this a good thing? It’s not like demeaning laughter… I’m not really sure what kind of laughter it is. But said people say I should start a talk show… or become a comedian or something. I don’t know, that might be fun. So… I’m supposed to free write now… but what about? Just to warn you I shall follow my train of thought freely, I won’t try and restrain it, for your amusement. Usually, in my writing I try to stay on one road, but now… I shall explore.
Let’s start with cats. For I just got a cat. She is so cute but she doesn’t have a name yet. She has a Hitler mustache. Or something that looks like one. We just read about Hitler in History, for we are learning about World War II. When you spell World War II do you put “II” or “2” or “Two?” I don’t know, Roman numerals confuse me. I don’t really get the whole “V” and “X” thing. And what is after that? I have no idea. According to Opera I have some sort of crazy mind thing that makes me see things differently. I associate each letter with a color, some are the same color, and they each have a gender and stuff. Numbers too actually. You know, “A” is red, “B” is blue, “C” is yellow… whoa, primary colors, never thought of that… but “D” is purple. Haha. I used to wear purple a lot, my grandma said it was my color, but it is actually her color and she liked to buy it for me. I like to buy a lot of red clothes now. I just bought a red dress, it made me look like a red zebra, I liked it though. Haha. That comment will come back to haunt me. Like my convict shirt. I have a black and white striped shirt that makes me look a bit like a jailbird. I’m going to miss Halloween this year, it is sort of sad. I’m going to be in India though, so it is totally worth it. (Whoa… that wasn’t as random as it looks…) I’m so excited for India. We have a Facebook group already. You can find like anything on Facebook, even LOL Catz. My brother and I want to take LOL Catz pictures with our new cat. That should be fun.
Well, that was a round about thought, since it went back to where I started. Hmmm, that wasn’t a great one. I should do it live or something. Hahaha, on camera. That might be fun. Well, that’s the end of my little rant/ free write. See you next time when I… do something cool…
Much Love!!!
~ Jenna
P.S. I think I may post this on Facebook for the fun of it.

Sketchy Person I Am

Yes, it is true. I am a sketch. Many of you know I am a sketch. Many of you know this but not to the actual extent it really is. For I am sketchier than you may know. Actually, you probably do know. Hahaha.
I follow people, yes I stalk people. I find joy in figuring out other peoples schedules in relation to mine. Even people I don't really care about that much. I know most of my friends schedules, though they may not know it. That is the sketchy part of it. I also look for people in certain places and pay attention to what they do each day. Sketchy I know. I need to break myself of such a habit, but I don't know how. And to tell you the truth, it is quite fun. Hahaha.
I should be an anthropologist or something. For it is quote a fun thing for me to do, and I enjoy it a little too much. So you better watch out, I may be stalking you. Muahahahahaha. Well, probably not. Actual, if you read this blog I am probably good friends with you, for I don't know why else you would read it. So, I probably do stalk you to an extent. For I do stalk my friends... Odd I know.
Why am I even writing this?!? I'm just going to sketch out the masses. It actually isn't that bad though, I think. I do it so nobody knows, I think. And it's not that bad of stalking. I don't know what said people did on Saturday night if you were wondering. Hahahaha. Just classes and stuff. For it is fun, and it occupies me. And it is quite useful at times. For there are the select people whom I stalk for specific reasons. Hehehe.
So you better watch out! For I may be watching you!!!
Much Love,
Abundant Felicity,
~ Jenna

There Are Many Songs For Karma.

As my title says, there are many songs about Karma. But the weird thing is I don't have one. And I should! For it affects me so greatly. Karma... what comes around goes around as they say. A conversation with a friend recently reminded me about this subject, this superstitious belief. The reminder of this subject got me thinking. Maybe the recent events in my life have been in direct relation to Karma. Both the good and the bad.
I got into India because I have never been to any other country but have always had an interest. I have been getting actual lines in the spring play because I haven't complained much about the small parts or lack there of in the past. I'm feeling more confident because I have recently been helping others find their own in life over the internet. I might be getting a cat because I have been waiting for one for my whole life (minus the year I had one then gave it away when we moved) and I have always cared for animals. Those are the good, obviously... the bad I'll get to later, or maybe not even mention...
To speak not of myself, (No I am not implying that this is me, for it is not, who it is knows who they are. Hehehe.) I have an example of Karma... not at work. If a girl has broken many hearts, wouldn't you think hers will eventually be broken because of it? I hope that this will never happen to a girl like this, for it is probably not for bad reasons that she breaks these hearts. The wrong people fall for her, and that may be her karma backslap. She wouldn't break these hearts if she liked these people, but she doesn’t so she sends them away, nicely enough. But will karma come back to haunt her, I joke about it often enough with her. I hope not, she deserves someone special, and no one special enough ahs come her way.
There is something I did, awhile back, I didn't mean to do it but I did it anyway. (No, this is not illegal or horribly bad in another way. Just an honest mistake.) Now, I think that this action and what I did in the aftermath are coming back to haunt me. There may be a way for me to fix it, but... I don't know how to go about it. Now that the effects of this event have set in I have realized how much it affects me now, even if it didn't then, and I deeply regret my lack of attention. I was distracted, and I ignored things right in front of me. It was a little less than a year ago now, and it still haunts me! It could even be a mistake that I think I made a mistake!
I doubt the person who was the victim of this mistake will read this, and even if they do they will probably not be able to tell I am talking about them. So, anyone whom I may have wronged, by accident or on purpose (Not many of those...) I am sorry. I hope you know this now, and hopefully, the event that I am actually talking about will be resolved...
Much Love and Remorse,
~ Jenna

Hopeless?

To egotistically quote myself, "I'm hopeless. Hopeless in this thing they call love." and life for that matter. That's a quote from my musical, if you wondered. A musical that you should read... but I do not trust the world of the internet with it for it doe snot have a copyright yet... So, if you know me join the group on Facebook. Ask me the name if you need to know... But as I was saying, I'm hopeless. To quote myself again, "Am I pretty? Don't have to be beautiful. But am I pretty? Even the most little tiny bit? Am I pretty? Don't have to be beautiful. But am I pretty? Pretty enough for him?" Another quote from the song rightfully titled "Hopeless."
That song has been playing itself endlessly in my head lately, that and another song that has not yet been placed in a musical... and may never be... Eh... I won't put up that song... too personal. The "Hopeless" song I actually wrote for my musical, most of that that is. The other song, was actually written from my heart, where the best and most embarrassing songs come from. It takes me awhile to want to share a song with my friends; it takes even longer for one of these personal songs to be taken from my private grasp.
Well, the point of this past was to talk about my hopelessness but I don't feel like it anymore... It just depresses me more. Hahaha, not really. Just frustrates me and makes me laugh at my sadness. Not like tears sadness, like "This is sad," sadness. Whatever...
Talk later...
~ Jenna
P.S. Premonition was right... My great-grandmother was having surgery for a bleeding ulcer around the time I felt it... I wasn't told about her surgery. I was told she was okay after she went home from the emergency room, only to return the next day... Scary...

Premonition Or Something?

As you can probably tell from the title of this post, I think I have some sort of premonition or something. I don't know what or how but I always get these weird feelings before things happen. Just the other day, it mat have been yesterday even, I was watching a movie and I suddenly got this urge to do something, but I told myself I had to finish the movie first. So after I finished the movie and I went to go do this thing I had an urge to do I realized that I had missed an opportunity that I had been waiting for that I wouldn’t have missed if I had done this earlier. It is quite frustrating in a way.
It goes both ways though. A few months ago I had this odd feeling that we were going to have a pop quiz in one of my classes, so naturally I studied for it. Then the next day, we had a pop quiz!!! I would have failed if I hadn't studied, I was blown away. Other things like that have been happening to me from time to time now. Either I’m just lucky, I have some sort of sixth sense, or there is something out there attempting to guide me.
Today and yesterday I have felt all jittery, all day. There is this odd, slightly innerving feeling in the pit of my stomach. I feel like something impactful is going to happen soon. I have no idea what, whether it is good or bad. Just big… And obvious it will affect me. Ahh! It has been bothering me all day when I noticed what kind of feeling it was. Yesterday I threw it away for stir craziness, but now I know it's not that.
This sounds so odd, and maybe a bit egotistical... I don't even know. I'm probably just being paranoid. Well, maybe it will happen tonight or tomorrow. I shall definitely let my blog know (not my readers, since no on reads it... haha) if anything happens. Wish me luck that it is good!!!
Much Love,
Abundant Felicity,
~ Jenna

Other Bloggers, Other Styles.

A friend of mine has recently started a blog, she says inspired by the fact that I have one. Well, over the course of reading her blog I have noticed we have completely different styles. I mean, that was predicable before, but this just makes it certain. You see, she has been blogging for lets say... a month. And I have been blogging for five months... almost half a year now. And already she has nearly the same amount of posts as me. It's almost annoying. Hahaha.
Well, I checked this out and her posts are quite small compared to mine. Plus she writes differently. She tells of experiences rather then thoughts and feelings. She adds pictures and talks about real people. I attempt to hide others identities and I would never put a picture of myself or others up on his kind of site. It probably comes from my excessive amount of time on the internet. I would call myself a member of the internet community, and through this membership I have made guidelines and restrictions for myself. Guidelines and restrictions that others do not have.
I'm not saying that it's going to happen to my friend, but often the people who do not have such guidelines are the ones who are victimized by pedophiles and the like. This makes it harder for those of us who are smart with the internet and its people. Newbs, you could call them, or even n00bs some of them. My friend is no n00b, just a newb. New to this whole community. It's funny to see how she goes about it. Well, if she reads this she will probably know who she is and I wish her luck in her blogging venture. Sorry for writing almost harshly about you, I love you!!! :)
Much Love,
Abundant Felicity,
~ Jenna

Happiness and Good Fortune, Everything Seems to Be Going My Way!

Oh My God. That is what I must start with, for this is an "Oh My God" moment, if there ever has been one. Life, at the moment, is nearly perfect, nearly absolutely perfect. Most everything I have been hoping and waiting for has come true!!! (Notice how I said "most everything," you can't get everything you want, right? But I'm working on it. Hahaha.)
Well, you see. Yesterday I learned that I got in a program that I have been so excited about. I will be one of twenty people to pilot the new SYA program in India! Ahh!!! And to make it better, one of my best friends is coming along with me!!! This is sooooo amazingly great!!!!
Another thing, I just talked to my step-dad about skipping crew (rowing) and doing the play instead and without any hesitation he said yes! My mom was the one who wanted me to do crew so I would have some exercise. But let's face it, I’m no athlete, and theater is hopefully my calling. Hahaha. Either that or writing.
So I shall now be happy about no crew and in six months I will be blogging from India for four months. Ahh! This is so exciting and wonderful. I also just got back from Belize, which let me tell you, was soooo much fun. But, a new and different experience.
You see, there is no drinking age in Belize and a certain plant-like drug is in easy access. So, my peers took advantage of this during the night, which can get annoying. I didn't of course do anything, for I am a self-proclaimed straight edge. (No drugs, no alcohol, no smoking, no random/casual hook-ups/sex (as in, I have to be in an actual relationship to do those things), and eventually for me, a vegetarian... There's more but I don't follow that stuff yet.) So you can see how this got annoying when nearly everyone was drunk and high every night when I was completely sober. It was fun in a way. Especially since they often don't remember telling me things or doing things that I can use for blackmail or as a joke later. I probably won't though, I'm not that mean. Hahaha. Other then the night life, Belize was the most amazing thing I have ever done. I can't wait for India.
Well, I think this is enough for today. Sorry about not posting for awhile, I've been in Belize. Hahaha. I'll post again soon!
Much Love,
Abundant Felicity,
~ Jenna

Why the Ups and Downs God? Why?!?

Ever notice that life has some severe ups and downs. Maybe it's just me but I dunno, I notice it. I'm not particularly religious, if you were wondering. I do believe there is something up there, but I don't quite know what, or how many... But yeah, I was raised Roman Catholic and I call whatever it is, God, for now. And I believe these up and downs are because of God. I think he forgets about me from time to time, or he moves on to people who need help a lot more then me, just like I tell him to in my "prayers." (They are not classic prayers... more like a conversation with a friend or something...) Well, I tell God to go help the sick people of the world and he listens and leaves me in the cold. Hence depression... God needs to learn how to help other people while still staying with me! Hahaha... No, I'm kidding, he doesn't leave me completely. I always feel that something is with me during my times of doubt and sadness. I know there is because of the little things that happen that save me from my complete sadness. You know, when you find the slight good in something bad. "Well, that happened, but at least it happened this way and not that way." You know?
So, I'm writing this post because God has put me back in the ups... Thank him forever. Everything right now seems to be going my way. I got to skip a practice that would have been hell, I heard a teacher was talking about me in a good way about something I want to happen, spring break starts tomorrow, I'm going to Belize, problems with my friends seem to be clearing up, and a few other things I'd rather not post publicly. Hahaha... So yeah... I tis happy. Quite happy in fact. And it is a nice change. But, to totally bring myself down, I have noticed I have cycles... So soon I may fall back down into depression, lets just hope I don't. Tis a good life I lead now. Thank God.
Much Love,
(Or my new closing... With means Much Happiness)
Abundant Felicity,
~ Jenna
P.S. I’m not saying God is a "He" it's just easier to write that then He/she each time.

Anyone Wanna Go Get High?

Hey, me again. I'm just in the mood to write at the moment so I'm writing a day after I last wrote. Cool, huh? Hahaha. Well, I'm sort of in a giddy kind of mood now, actually it is just starting to wear off now but the essence is still there, and the memory of the cause. You know those semi-natural highs? When a random or quick event or thought makes you a bit happier then whatever state you were in previously. It's not a full natural high, when a complete series of events or something causes you to feel like you’re floating or whatever, well I didn't have that, not quite that today.
But, I was already in a good mood for I had just bashed a girl who was bashing my friend over Facebook. Wow! Sounds mean but it's not that bad, let me explain. If you have Facebook you may know that there is an application called Honesty Box. Using this application you can write to people what you think of them without them knowing who you are. So as you may have guessed someone wrote something not so nice to my friend. So I replied to this message saying at the end that is was me, I pretty much told this person to get some guts and tell her to her face among other things including her being a bitch and shallow.
So yeah, this made me happy for, well I dunno, I like standing up for my friends or do I just like being sort of mean to mean people? I dunno... Whatever. I was happy and then something happy happened and I was happier, so that was nice. I guess. Hahahaha, okay, yeah I was happy. I'm not going to tell you what this event was because then I would have to explain a whole other back story and I don't really feel like doing that.
Wow, this was a really pointless post but whatever, I like to rant sometimes. Hahahaha. I really can't help smiling because of this natural highness. I don't really know how to express that in my words... *smiles*? Hahaha, well talk to you later...
Much Love, Abundant Felicity, (Much Happiness)
~ Jenna

Random Notes on the Life I've Been Leading in My Absence

Hey there the few readers I have. Sorry for the lack of writing lately. You see I am in a school musical at the moment and it is eating away my time. But it is the weekend so then I will have more time which should be nice. So yeah, I'm in a "High School Musical" called Ragtime... NOT, High School Musical, the ridiculous Disney movie that has brought shame to the musical lovers of the world. And if you tell me you’re a musical lover and you like High School Musical then I might have to kill you for High School Musical is crap... on a stick.
I may have mentioned this before but I am a lyricist/playwright... or an aspiring one. So, I write things hoping someday they can make it big on Broadway or something. That would be nice. I also write normal plays though, without music. And I write stories and stuff... so yeah.
This is totally off subject but I have to talk about it... I'm feeling betrayed at the moment... I don't know, one of my friends told some of my other friends something I really didn't want anyone to know. For I wasn't even sure if I was sure about it. It's not like she told them outright it was sort of by accident but it still makes me feel a little annoyed and betrayed... This specific friend... I have felt her drifting from me lately. I don't know, I love her to death but I'm so sure she feels the same way anymore. It saddens me deeply, and now I feel like I can't trust anyone...
So another new topic. My family just came back after a week in Florida without me! Can you believe that?!? They left me in the care of others and went off to Florida. They "didn't want me to miss any school." Hahaha, yeah right. No just kidding, it's actually because I'm going to Belize during my March break so they took their own vacation but still. It was sort of annoying. I did get to spend a whole week at my friend’s houses though. Hahaha.
Well, on that note.
Much Love,
~ Jenna
P.S. Thanks Emily for you comment. Comments always make me soooo happy!

Happy Singles Depression Day...

Yup, that's right. Today is Singles Depression Day, aka Valentines Day. Hahaha. But it's true. You can't tell me that there hasn't been a time in your life when you secretly, or openly, hated Valentines Day. And if you can tell me, your either a liar or it will happen to you sometime in the future. For sure.
When you're young you usually like Valentines Day because your whole class brings in Valentines for everyone and everyone gets candy and they are happy. But come Middle School or High School people limit their Valentines to their "friends." So that means, you get limited Valentines, unless your "popular." Hahaha. Well, I did get some Valentines, I’m not being too bitter; I did give and receive but only to and from my friends, not anyone else. Such as romantic interests. For, as I said Valentines Day is Singles Depression Day.
I am not the kind of person to work up the nerve to actually send one of those "anonymous" Valentines that most schools support. Yeah, my school sells flowers in which you can put your name or not, I sent some to my friends, nothing more. So, as I was saying, I would not send one to anyone else because I am sort of nervous and shy and I never really liked that stuff. I don't get those from people either because in my opinion I am not very likable. I don't know, I guess if I was likable I wouldn't be single, right? Hahaha. I'm sooo self-conscious in my head.
Well, actually I guess I am a bit likable I mean, it's not like I haven't had chances to end this streak of "loneliness." It's just never been... right? Well, let’s not talk about that. Hence the Singles Depression Day. Hahaha.
I know a lot of you agree with me. So join in on the fun of bashing Valentines Day with me and comment on my blog!!! I really want and would love comments. They make me feel loved and happy. So, yeah... do it.
Much Love,
~ Jenna

Emotional Roller Coaster?

Yeah, that's what I am at the moment... An Emotional Roller Coaster... Up, down and all around. It's a bundle of fun; let me tell you that... NOT. It is rather annoying to say the least. One day I'll be happy and joyful and the next I'll be pissed and spiteful. (To give an example, Monday then Tuesday, that happened then... And now I'm... normal...) Well, there are usually reasons and that's the hard part. Life is just out to get me I think. It brings upon me reasons so be happy then the next day it crashes those reasons and makes me sad. Disorienting me and the people around me... well, annoying them more then disorienting them.
Often my emotions change by the hour or so, or more then once in a day. That's when I'm in the height of the roller coaster. That is when I'm not so much fun to be around. Usually this happens when I am unsure about what to think of something or what to do about it. I don't like it much, not many sane people would... Not that I am sane or anything...
So yeah, life's been throwing me some curveballs if you couldn't catch that. And it often makes me happy and often not. But the point in which I am in right now is happier then usual for a change. I like it, despite its confusion. It's a nice change... And whatever I wrote last time, hopefully that is changing...
Much Love,
~ Jenna

How Do You Tell Your Parents Of The Things You've Been Hiding From Them, And Other Stories Of The Like.

I got my grades yesterday, pretty much worst day ever, I mean ever... My grades were okay, the usual, the expected. It was just the grades I got on my finals. Not so great... Yeah, I won't get into the details but this didn't make my parents too happy. So... stupidly I brought up an issue I have been meaning to bring up at the wrong time... my depression. A depression caused my many things piled on top of one another in a horrible mess of sadness and anger... Well, they sometimes say the most creative minds have something wrong with them, so there may be a plus. Hahaha. So, this depression has gotten to a bad point, I mean a low, low, point. I mean a point that is like pg-13 or something. Yeah, you guessed it... thoughts of bodily harm... a.k.a. suicide. Yet, these were still thoughts, so I had to bring it up before I did anything.
But of course my mother assumes right away it is my school. That school is stressing me and that I should switch to an easier school. She doesn't know the half of it... And I could never tell her about my life on the internet and the friends I have slowly been losing. I could never tell her about my extreme self-loathing and lack of self-respect. I could never tell her that her straight 'A' daughter who is deathly afraid of showing her anything less then a 90% when I now get few grades above that. It is impossible, so she assumes it is school. Which if she did take me out of this school; I think that would put me over the edge...
I have learned to lie quite well over the years. I mean I could lie before but now, in High School, it is nearly an art. I have lied so well to some people I nearly believe the story myself. Which, in a way, can be a good thing. As usual it all starts with a little thing, and then, it grows. And now, I don't quite know how to stop some of them, so they grow larger. I know this whole paragraph is sort of a side note, but I felt like putting that out there for anyone who may read it. I don't lie often, not nearly as much as most of the people I know, but when I do lie it is usual a large and annoying one that harms no one but me...
Much Love Forever,
~ Jenna
P.S. Sorry for another pity party, I'll liven it next time. For I am working on bettering my life and gaining self confidence.

If Only Life Were A Musical...

Wouldn't that be great? If life were a musical? I get happy just thinking about it. But not the kind of jump around and giggle happy. More the sit and smile slightly, while thinking deeply happy. It may not appear so to many people, but that is my favorite kind of happy, though it happens less often. (Yes I am more inclined to violently express my happiness through jumping, dancing, singing, laughing, et cetera.) But just think about it, in a musical every few conversations you burst into dance and song. And everyone knows the same choreographed song and dance. It would just be so much fun!!! Though it may get old for some people, and you would eventually lose your voice... But there are other charms to this idea.
In most musicals there is a huge pressing problem that must be solved. And usually by the end it is apparent that this problem will be solved or already has been. Though some can be sad and depressing there is always something to smile about for each character. Usually people only have a few problems on them at once, it is nothing like reality. Wouldn't it be nice to have even only half the problems you have in life? I would be able to breathe easier for sure.
People do get hurt and are in pain in musicals but they always bounce back. And usually people who do the right thing get something form it. They aren't left out in the dust while the bad people get what they want. They may be for awhile but it works out...
As you may be able to tell I'm a bit depressed. The reasons? I can not express most of them so publicly. But hey, according to some of my friends I am always depressed and complaining! Why me?!? Why do I have to be the wet blanket? I try to remain optimistic but when I express my problems no one seems to care. I need someone who will just sit and listen, and then maybe try and help or even just hug me... just let me let it all out. A pillow doesn't suffice for the comfort of someone who understands... Now I'm on a tangent...
Well, the originally point of this post was to talk about the musical I have written, but then I went on this little pity party. I'm sorry... I have to link to my musical, you all should read it and tell me what you think!
Much Love,
~ Jenna
P.S. Here is the link > http://docs.google.com/Doc?id=dhpmw2k8_0hsgf5gc3&pli=1 Read it!

AHH!!! The Horrors of Exams and Teeth!

As you can see I haven't written in a long period of time. Well, there are reasons for this. I just finished my last exam of this term and I am very happy about that. So, obviously the reasons were that I was studying my butt off. (Or procrastinating my butt off...) Right now, I have a lull in my schedule. I finished my exam early and now I await my mother's arrival. (Wow, I just respelled that word leek six times...) My mother is coming to get me so she can bring me to a torture chamber in which they shall pull our four impacted teeth from my gums. Yeah, that's right I'm getting my wisdom teeth out. Half an hour after my last exam. So much fun, right?
So due to these reasons I have had no time to meander on the computer. But right now I do. Though my mother may come while I am writing this in which I shall have to finish it later after I have already gotten my wisdom teeth out. I shall inform you if that happens. Hahaha.
Well, I am not very excited about getting teeth pulled out of my skull. I have never had anything pulled off or out of my mouth unless you count my horrible braces about two years ago. I also had a minor surgery on my gums to help move my teeth, and oh yeah I got my tonsils and adenoids out. But that doesn't count! I was seven!
Would you be excited? No! Who gets excited about the concept on being like six different kinds of drugs but still being in pain, your face swelling up, and the possibility of dry sockets? Not many sane people, probably not even many insane people. So, wish me luck and I shall be back soon with news!
Much Love,
~ Jenna

I Don't Quite Know What To Write...

I'm here, at the computer lab. Attempting to write a blog post. I have had some people send me comments telling me to write more but I have had no time and no inspiration. I currently have three people over my shoulder watching me type this and it is kind of hard. XD Well, I have asked them what I should write and they are not any help. They are talking about some sort of "Flower." I am confused. Now... they are leaving me alone. Thank God!!! Just kidding. Hahahaha. Well, I have no idea what to write about. I need some H-E-L-P!!! Ahh! I need some inspiration!!! There would be some things I would write about that I can think of but I don't quite feel comfortable yet... since I have no idea who is reading this. Hahaha. Well, we figured out what the "Flower" was. But I'm not telling!!! Muahahahaha!!!! Wow, if anything was a ramble post this would be it. Sorry for such a random post. It is really hard to concentrate here. I just wanted to post for my probably two readers. Um... okay. Awkward conversation happening around me. Well, I need some inspiration but I'll try and post again soon!!!
Much Love,
~ Jenna

HAPPY NEW YEAR!!!

I'm soooooooooooo sorry I haven't posted in so long!!! With everything that happened around my last post and the Holidays, plus I'm off on break so I'm around the computer less, I haven't had any time to post! Too bad I didn't get a laptop for Christmas... though my brother did... Well, it's a new year. Some people say it is time to start fresh, do something about your life. I have never been much for resolutions, for I know if I make them they will probably not come true. (Darn pessimism!) But this year, I have made a few... In no particular order...
The first effects my readers the most. I will attempt to post more. I did well the first week or so but now I'm just getting lazy. So, I'm going to get my butt in gear and post hopefully every other day or so. (Or more!)
Second, to care less about what people think of me. I am really a very self-conscious person. For my close friends it may not appear so. But to those who may never have talked to me and all they see is the often quiet shadow of a person, (Maybe a bit over dramatic) it is apparent. From now on I shall not care what people I don't care about think of me. I obviously have to care what my friends think of me a bit.
Third, trust more. Sort of goes along with the earlier one. This has gotten better I guess, but it could still use some work.
Fourth, get the darn Film club going!!!! (Those in the Film club will know what I mean)
Fifth, get into the India SYA program. Only twenty people nation wide, but who knows, one might be me!
And all the rest are private matters. Written in the depths of my diary and hidden within the deep waters of my heart. Hahaha. So... if any of my few readers want to share their New Year's Resolutions go ahead. I'd love to hear them.
Much Love,
~ Jenna