Seventeen Ain't So Sweet

Yay! Happy Birthday to me! I’m seventeen today. Isn’t that exciting? The title of this post is the title of a song by Red Jumpsuit Apparatus, it has no relevance to my feelings on the age. Well, it doesn’t quite feel like my birthday. I don’t feel seventeen. You see, almost my whole life I have been waiting to turn sixteen. My birthday is on the sixteenth, so it would be my super sweet golden birthday, as I liked to jokingly call it. Plus, sixteen just seemed like such a good age. Now that is has come and gone, I feel sort of… lost? No, that’s not the right word. I just feel like my birthday means nothing at the moment. I mean, it does mean something, but not as much. It’s not taking me one step closer to the coveted age of sixteen because that has already happened. It’s only taking me farther from it. I could find a new age to look forward to, such as eighteen or twenty-one. But voting and drinking don’t have the same appeal to me as driving. So that’s how I feel about turning seventeen…
Now on to a look back at the past year. You know how much I like to look back. I must say that the past 364 days have really been quite eventful. I don’t think it would be a stretch in saying that it is one of the most jam packed with events, year of my life. A damn lot happened. Excuse my French. So, now you’re wondering what, I’m assuming. I’ll give a quick summary.
First and foremost, sophomore year of high school. I think that deserves an event. But sophomore year was a joke, I’m sorry. I did nothing productive. Well, nearly nothing. I recovered from a depression, which included many other problems that have ceased to continue. That is always a good thing, right? I learned to be more myself through my recovery and since then I have learned more. I made more friends, I love friends!
Then there were like a billion and a half little things. I left the country for the first time to go to Belize. I went overseas to India… where I still am. I got more than two lines in a musical. I was in a play, that was not a musical, and I actually had a part. Well, I had three parts and a lot of lines. And supposedly people said one of my parts was their favorite. Which is wonderful. I recovered from an intense writers block and finished my musical. I started and am nearly done with one of my plays. I joined my story writing site and have already written many stories. And many more things that I either can’t think or, don’t feel like listing, or don’t want to list.
Let’s just say, this year was extremely educational and influential. I learned a lot about myself, other people, and the world. The biggest thing is that there are very few things that I regret from the past year. I mean, there are always regrets, some big, some small, but not many. I’m very happy with the past year, I hope the next year is just as good, if not better!!!
Much Love,
~ Jenna

I Thought Everything That Could Have Gone Wrong By Now Had Already Crashed And Burned.

A long and depressing title, I know. But it holds true to my life at the moment. I thought I was in a moment of solidarity. Well, as solid as one can be in a foreign country with a bunch of people you barely know. But I was wrong. Because the lack of solidarity comes from elsewhere. Well, at least the main reason. I thought everything that could have gone wrong had already done so. Now all I know is that I have to listen to my fricken physic tendencies a little more.
I'm not going to go into the details, but I just found out some news that is not at all favorable. And the fact that I can't be there for the people it involves really bothers me. I'm 8000 miles away!!! I also discovered something interesting that I semi-predicted that could be wrong but I still find... interesting. I need to write down my "flash forwards" as I like to refer to them as. For they appear to be coming true. At the moment I can't think of one that has been proven wrong.
Wow, this could be a lucrative business. Haha. But really, this is no laughing matter. I am really upset about the news I received via Facebook. It really is quite depressing for numerous reasons. One being that I can't fricken be there!!! So now I vent my rage to my blog. Rage. Rage. Rage. Okay I'm done saying that word that starts with an 'R.'
I don't really know what to say about it. It's bothering me. I'm so upset and I can't deal with this issue until next year unless it's over the internet. And, yes, I have dealt with issue before over the internet. But a virtual hug is not any substitute for the real hugs I would like to give. I could totally be misinterpreting this and no one really needs a hug. But I think they do... and in 2009 they are going to get it. For now, virtual hugs and rage venting will have to do.
Much Love, (to most but not all)
~ Jenna