How Do You Tell Your Parents Of The Things You've Been Hiding From Them, And Other Stories Of The Like.

I got my grades yesterday, pretty much worst day ever, I mean ever... My grades were okay, the usual, the expected. It was just the grades I got on my finals. Not so great... Yeah, I won't get into the details but this didn't make my parents too happy. So... stupidly I brought up an issue I have been meaning to bring up at the wrong time... my depression. A depression caused my many things piled on top of one another in a horrible mess of sadness and anger... Well, they sometimes say the most creative minds have something wrong with them, so there may be a plus. Hahaha. So, this depression has gotten to a bad point, I mean a low, low, point. I mean a point that is like pg-13 or something. Yeah, you guessed it... thoughts of bodily harm... a.k.a. suicide. Yet, these were still thoughts, so I had to bring it up before I did anything.
But of course my mother assumes right away it is my school. That school is stressing me and that I should switch to an easier school. She doesn't know the half of it... And I could never tell her about my life on the internet and the friends I have slowly been losing. I could never tell her about my extreme self-loathing and lack of self-respect. I could never tell her that her straight 'A' daughter who is deathly afraid of showing her anything less then a 90% when I now get few grades above that. It is impossible, so she assumes it is school. Which if she did take me out of this school; I think that would put me over the edge...
I have learned to lie quite well over the years. I mean I could lie before but now, in High School, it is nearly an art. I have lied so well to some people I nearly believe the story myself. Which, in a way, can be a good thing. As usual it all starts with a little thing, and then, it grows. And now, I don't quite know how to stop some of them, so they grow larger. I know this whole paragraph is sort of a side note, but I felt like putting that out there for anyone who may read it. I don't lie often, not nearly as much as most of the people I know, but when I do lie it is usual a large and annoying one that harms no one but me...
Much Love Forever,
~ Jenna
P.S. Sorry for another pity party, I'll liven it next time. For I am working on bettering my life and gaining self confidence.