I Don't Know If I'm Ready For This...

I'm going to be turning eighteen in a matter of weeks now, a legal adult. It's starting to scare me out of my mind, to tell you the truth. For by the time my birthday arrives, many things are and should be happening.
My older brother is going to college. I know my opinion doesn't matter, but I don't think I want him to go. He's my only older brother and he's been there for me, in a sense, my entire life. Now he's going away to college and I'm starting to look at colleges. I know it's going to be quite awhile now when we have the whole family together at once. And soon, he'll move out completely and we'll never live together again. It's rather depressing.
I'm starting my senior year as well. This is on one side totally awesome, the other side incredibly frightening. As I said before, I'll be looking at colleges, but I'll also be attempting to keep my grades up, juggling two AP courses, writing a large number of plays, and a hack of a lot of other things. And that doesn't even mention the inevitable drama of a high schoolers life. Not that I didn't have enough drama during the summer to last me a school year.
I should be getting my license and a job soon too. Yes, I know I should already have my license by the age of eighteen, but a lot of things came up. And well, you don't want to get me started on the issue. I feel different this year too, and hopefully it will be good different, but who knows. I don't think I'm ready to "grow up" yet though. I'll legally be an adult, but I don't think I can handle the adult world yet. I'll just have to ready myself over the course of my senior year. This is going in be difficult in many ways, this year...
Much Love,
~ Jenna